Joye at Home

Raw Energy- No More Chronic Fatigue Syndrome!

2012-01-05T18:00:00.000-08:00

This past year, I've been experimenting with the raw food diet. I am not going to be completely raw, because I do like good, cooked grains like quinoa & rice. I like cage free eggs and free range meat too, and some cooked veggies, but I am doing way more raw now, than I was a year ago.

(the best raspberry/banana smoothie you will ever taste, EVER!)

I juice and drink green smoothies almost everyday. I eat hearty salads for lunch, and my dinner consists of more cooked food, but with some raw mixed in there as well. I try and make sure that I am eating something raw at every meal.

My number one reason behind eating more raw has to do with the amazing health benefits. If you've been a long time reader of my blog, then you know that I spent a rediculous amount of years suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, along with a number of other health issues. CFS is real and debilitating in ways I can't describe. One must suffer from this to have the full understanding. It is way more than just feeling tired. I still firmly believe that CFS is a horrible symptom than an actual condition.

My diet alone is the number one reason I no longer have CFS, along with 25 other health issues. Other factors can cause CFS, so diet alone may not always be the answer. It was for me, praise God!! Even with heavy metal poisoning, and POTS (due to heavy metal poisoning), I was able to conquer CFS.

When I say recovered from CFS, I mean that I truly have recovered. Instead of Chronic Fatigue, I live with "Chronic Energy". I'm literally never tired. Even at night, when it's time for bed, I don't feel tired. I'm a night owl by nature, but I still try my hardest to get to bed at a reasonable hour for health reasons. If lie in bed long enough, eventually, I fall asleep.

I've had CFS from 8 years old until about 20 years old. During my teen years, I felt that it was my fate to live a life of perpetual tiredness. Only in my dreams did I feel healthy and energetic. I truly cannot believe I can write a post saying that I have TONS of energy. The only thing that puts me to bed is the awful sickness I can feel from metal poisoning or treatments of detoxing, or if I get overstimulated from my damaged nervous system, from metal poisoning. Phew! That was a mouthful! It's really hard to lie in bed feeling so darn sick, when I have SO much energy to burn. I am still hopeful that these treatments will work and that I will live a life full of burning my everlasting energy!:)

My love for avocados will never die. Never, I tell you!

I've been going through a raw food "cook" book lately, and have been experimenting with unique and yummy raw food creations. this cashew/coconut truffle is amazing and healthy!

Rolling in the coconut flakes

I buy my coconut flakes in bulk, from Tropical Traditions.

There is so much one can do with coconut flakes, the possibilities are endless!

Homemade hummus with homemade, dehydrated flax crackers. I still need to work on my hummus flavoring skills. I do not used canned chickpeas. Instead, I soak my own over night, drain and rinse them the next morning, cook them for several hours, and finally, I painstakingly peel the skin off of the chickpeas. It's a process, which is why I make big batches at a time and freeze it. Dehydrated flax crackers are super easy to make and super nutritious as well.

Quinoa, walnut sald

Pistachio, bell pepper, raspberry salad. Dehydrated apples make an incredibly delicious contribution to any salad. I just discovered this yesterday! Yay!:)

I still lightly steam some veggie, but nothing beats the freshness of raw food. It gives your cells life and helps to unlock bad genes, all of which I greatly need. Here is a list of health problems I have recovered from with diet alone(Diet meaning- gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, processed food free, juicing, green smoothies, more raw food, good grains, real meat and eggs, ect)-

*Severe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

*Fibromyalgia

*chronic Canker sores

*Acid reflux

*Chronic headaches- Literally, every single day for over a decade.

*Hypoglycemia

*Felt starving all day

*IBS

*OCD

*ADD

*Chronic pain in my lower abdomen- random, I know...

*Severe, chronic rib pain all day everyday.

*Bad anxiety for seemingly no reason at all.

*arrythmias

*Hair falling out

*Random rashes all over my back and face

*Brain fog to the most extreme, I can't even describe!!!

*Orthostatic Intolerance- got to where just sitting up in a chair became very hard. Standing in one place for more than a couple minutes made me feel faint and couldn't breath well, felt like I was losing oxygen or CO2.

*Chronic blackouts

*Light and sound sensitivities- have not fully gotten over this, but it has improved

*Stopped up ears all the time- could barely hear people talk at times.

*Chronic nose bleeds- still don't know what caused that!!

*Body felt constantly irritated.

*Extreme pressure in my head everyday.

*Tight band around my throat

*Chronic nausea

*Adrenaline rushes for no reasons

*ect...

There is power in food people! Why many doctors do not see the importance of it, I'll never understand. Food, as in my case, does not always, completely heal a person. Sometimes, it takes extra help, but food is still incredibly important and I am living proof of that. May everyone be blessed with good health and tons of energy!

It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year!

2011-12-26T16:21:00.001-08:00

Growing up, I literally viewed Christmas as the most wonderful time of the year, but chronic illness really sucked the Christmas spirit out of me for the past 6 years. Let's just say, I was due for a good Christmas.

Christmas week was very busy for me, and if I hadn't stopped treatments (just for the holidays), I'd never been able to do half the things on my list. I prayed for God to help me accomplish everything on my list, and He most mercifully did! I did have a few days out of the week where I felt very sick, but thankfully, those were on the days that I didn't have as much to do. I wanted to feel good on the days where I got to go to Christmas parties. I've missed many Christmas parties over the years, but this year, I didn't miss any! Praise God! I count it a huge privialage and blessing to fellowship with others!

Every year, we celebrate Christmas Eve with my mother's side of the family. This year, we decided to have the party at our house. Me and my sister took on the fun task of cooking the appetizers and decorating everything. I think everyone underestimated what me and my sister pulled off in a timely fashion (5 min before everyone arrived)! ;)

I made this really fun wreath appetizer.

We put decorations in the most random places...

What's Christmas without a feast?

Candy cane brownies

I made sure and put something healthy on the table...minus the high fructose corn syrup chocolate dip of course;)

Peppermint cream cheese oreo truffles:)

Ham

My absolute favorite- Egg Nog! I'm dairy free, so I couldn't drink any, but next year I'm going to experiment with coconut milk, coconut cream, and cage free eggs...yum! I put the egg nog inside our Advent wreath for a unique decoration.

Wine makes glad the heart of men...

"Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful!"

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
How richly God has decked thee!

The reason for the season...although, I'm still not convinced Dec 25th is Christ's actual birthday...one will never know...

Due to food intolerances and health consciousness, my plate looked a bit different than everyone else's. We have green beans wrapped in turkey bacon, homemade oatmeal meatballs, a fruit kabob without the choco sauce, and a raw/organic strawberry cream pie, yum!

Bon Appetit!

Sisters...<3

Glad Cody is part of the family now!

Classic Nick! Picking all of the veggies off...

Me and mom<3

Dad and daughter

Surprisingly, it only took two takes to get this pic right. I think it's a new record!

The very fast reading of the Christmas story;)

I bought this giant coffee cup and hand painted the Florida Gator symbol for Nick for two reason. 1) he has an irrational love of coffee. 2) he plans his weekends around Florida gator games:)

Bet he wasn't expecting this for Chrismas:)

My Aunt really wanted this handmade, life like (creepy looking), baby monkey for Christmas. Instead of buying one, my dad put together this pic for her as a joke.

It was hysterical!

Hello Kitty robe? Why I wanted one, especially because I'm far too old, is that I will always be like my dad, a kid at heart! I believe it to be a great way to live out one's life;)

Looking for his treat! Now, whenever he sees a gift bag, he automatically thinks it is a treat for him!

I decided to liven up our Christmas Even party this year by playing pass the present!

A merry heart is medicine to the soul.

Blakely ripped through that duck tape like there was no tomorrow! I think I'm going to have to wrap the presents even harder next year.

If you aren't familiar with the game, you wrap a small gift inside a box. Wrap the box many times with wrapping paper, duck tape, string, ect, making it very hard to get to the present. As the Christmas music plays, everyone passes the present around the room. When the music stops, whoever has the present in their hand has to TRY and unwrap the present. When the music starts back up, they must stop unwrapping and keep passing, and so on. Whoever gets to the present and holds it up in the air before the music starts playing, gets to keep the gift. We did two gifts, and one contained scratch off tickets, and the other contained a Target gift card. It's a really fun game!

I'm thankful for the holiday season to fellowship with family and friends. That is a gift in itself. Hope everyone had a very blessed Christmas!

A Poem I Wrote, "The Gift"

2011-12-08T10:31:00.000-08:00

I wrote this poem today while I was going through a very scary health spell. Writing directed me attention away from my suffering and on to something else. It GREATLY got me through that rough patch. I am no poet, but I believe writing, among other things, is a God created source of help in times of trouble.

"The Gift" By: Me (Ashleigh)

Lord, please take away this pain,
it's just too much,
for it beats me down harder than rain.

Lord, I can't take all of these fears.
My eyes are so sore
from these ever flowing tears.

Lord, is it wrong to hope,
as I fall rapidly toward the valley,
down this steep slope?

Lord, I long for good health,
for I believe it to be greater
than all the world's wealth.

Lord, my heart beats to an extreme speed.
O, I ask that You slow it down,
I desperately plead!

Lord, I am so tired of this shortness of breath.
O, how I fear one more struggle to breath,
will lead to my young and wasted death.

Lord, I cannot die yet,
for You have trained me to be a visionary,
who longs for the day when I can be wife, mother, and missionary.

Lord, please slow my heart down, ease the pain, restore my breath,
and please O, please take away
this agonizing fear of death.

Lord, more than a fear of death, I fear a wasted life, that I long to live.
O please feel that good health for me
is the gift You desire to give.

Lord, I am so tired of these treatments.
This healing process is far too slow.
Will I ever enter a new season in my life? God only knows.

Lord, I pray that I do not hope for a better future in vain.
I pray there is purpose, preparation, and growth
from this hard beating rain.

Lord, I had planned on living a much different life
than the one I'm stuck in now.
O how I wish I could understand Your mysteries of the "Why?", "When?", and "How?".

Lord, why is this happening?
When will I be free? How long must I wait?
My God, this just can't be my doomed fate!

Lord, I know You better than this.
Healing and living life to the fullest
is my greatest prayer and wish.

Lord, You are a God of healing and a God of love.
Please lovingly send me the gift of healing
from up above!

An official Diagnosis- Let the healing begin...Hopefully!

2011-11-22T20:25:00.000-08:00

It's been a long while since I've posted, but I just haven't had the time lately. So much has been going on in my life, too much to share in a blog post. Not sure if many still keep up with my blog, but for those who do, I'll shall provide a bit of an update.

Finally, after 14 years of prayer and searching, I got an official diagnosis as to why I have so many strange physical symptoms. I have a genetic disorder which keeps my body from processing b vitamins correctly and I also cannot detox toxins (which is bad considering our society is so toxic), so now I have lead and mercury poisoning.

I cried with the new diagnosis, because I was like, WOW! God really has heard my many tearful prayers! I just didn't want to be left in the dark anymore. I wanted answers. I realize now why a completely organic diet could not heal my body. If one can't detox through food, then how will one get better?

Getting this diagnosis came at the perfect time, because I was beyond weary with my painstaking routine of trying to diligently heal myself. I am blessed with the doctor God has led me to. She listens, and she is sharp! Praise God for doctors like this. I got more out of one appointment with her than I did over 13 years with conventional doctors.

I'm currently going through chelation treatments and could use your prayers. It's been a rough go, but I know I must go through this valley to get to the other side. I still can't comprehend a life without feeling so sick all the time, but my hope is in the Lord.

It frustrates me to no end that I, along with many other young people, have been mistreated and misdiagnosed by the medical community. Another source of my frustration comes from the fact that this genetic disorder of mine is not as rare as people might think, it's just rare to get an official diagnosis, because it's easier for many docs to prescribe medication instead of doing the hard work in finding the root of a person's ailments. The last frustration comes from the state of our toxic society (food, chemicals, air pollution, heavy metals in the water and food, ect) and it is greatly impacting many a person's life on the altar of dollar signs. This should not be!!

Enough of my small rant. Trust me, I could go on for days.

Anyway, my doctor has great hope that I can improve. I'm scared much damage from heavy metal poisoning has been done, but I have youth on my side. I just want a good and simple life. I just want grow old, live, get married, have a family, a good church family, continue on with the things in life I am passionate about and not waste one minute of it.

Why do you think most people pray for good health, family, friends, ect? Because that is as good as it will ever get in a cursed world. Even those good blessings still come with issues of their own. We will never achieve perfection here, it's just not possible.

I'm amazed that God continues to give good gifts to His children in a fallen world. I pray for the extremely good gift of good health.

I'm still not going to blog often because I just am dealing with too much, but I love my blog and will never quit writing, so please don't stop following even if you don't see a post from me for a couple of months.

Hoping springtime will bring forth better health and a new season in my life.

May the Lord bless you and keep you all.

In Christ,
Ashleigh

Painting is a Process

2011-10-24T21:28:00.001-07:00

Painting is a process just like life. Painting takes determination, focus, mistakes, hard work, and patience to achieve something beautiful.

Painting reminds me of Christ's death on the cross, in that it looked awful in the beginning, others couldn't see the whole picture, but only the One creating the circumstance could see something beautiful in the end!

I painted this tree in a matter of days for the fun of it. Unlike Christ's death, there was no purpose in it, just an idea I had to get out of my head and on to something.

I don't like to show others my paintings in progress, because they just can't see what I see, until it is finished.

I love painting trees because no two trees are the same, and you really can't make a mistake because it's your very own tree. The branches may grow wherever they please, the leaves may fall wherever the paint touches the canvas. In the voice of the late and great artist Bob Ross, "It's your own little world. You can do whatever you want in it."

Art is my escape.

I like to create pictures that could never exist in real life- surrealism;)

What do you like to paint?

Yummy Chocolate, Semi-Organic Truffles!

2011-10-12T18:15:00.000-07:00

My entire family and I absolutely love these truffles!!

Here is the recipe-

Put about 1/3 cup of gluten free oatmeal, 2/3 cup cashews (soaked and dehydrated), 2TB Enjoy Life chocolate chips (gluten and caseing free), 1/4 tsp of cinnamon, in the food processor, and blend.

Then add sea salt to taste, 2TB raw honey, 2 tsp McCormick's vanilla, and a splash of water in the food process with the rest of the ingredients. Blend until it forms into a dough-like consistency.

Roll dough into 1-2 inch balls, place in freezer for 10 minutes. While in freezer, melt a couple handfuls of Enjoy Life chocolate chips on stove or in microwave. You can also use cacao nibs as well.

Take dough balls out of freezer and dip in melted chocolate. Keep refrigerated, and enjoy!

Sweet Potato Hashrounds!

2011-09-30T13:11:00.000-07:00

My goal for healthy food is to make it taste better as the years go by. I used to eat very bland, and since I must still eat a fairly restricted, organic diet, I want it to taste good!

Last year, I taught myself how to make hashrounds for breakfast using potatos. Next year I'm going to teach myself to plant potatoes, so when I eat them, I will know exactly where they are coming from. I think potatoes are on the Dirty Dozen list of foods to never buy at the grocery store...

Anyway, this post isn't even about potatoes, but rather SWEET potatoes. I'm not a huge sweet potato fan, but still eat them often. I've spent the last year trying to make them taste better. I've made sweet potato fries, by roasting them in the oven on 400F with salt and olive oil. I've sauted sweet potatoes on the stove and seasoned them with honey, cinnamon, raisins, and walnuts. I've diced them and sauted them in olive oil. My recent adventure has been grating the sweet potatoes, salting them, and cooking them in olive oil to make hashrounds.

This task takes a bit of patience. Getting the heat just right is tricky, because I'm constantly changing the heat, taking the pan off the heat, putting it back on, throughout the whole cooking process. There is no "one heat setting fits all." It's something you just get used to overtime. The first batch I made burned, the second batch lacked crispness, and in "Goldilock's terminology", the 3rd batch came out just right! Hooray for crispy sweet potato hashrounds that taste amazing and are better than potato hashrounds in my opinion!:)

Fun Collections and Little Antique Finds

2011-09-30T12:55:00.000-07:00

So, there's this girl who, throughout her life, spontaniously starts collecting random things. She collects everything from coins, eraser shavings (no lie), rubberband balls, beanie babies, happy meals, and the most awesome key chain collection ever!!

Well, I must admit, the eraser shaving collection didn't last long (once spilled, it was a mess to clean up!), and I haven't been able to eat at McDonald's in years so that puts a damper on collecting happy meals, plus, I'm far too old for those collections!:) Currently, my key chain collection remains the most awesome collection ever!!:) I collected keychains for about 8 years, and throughout those years, I aspired to make it into the Guiness Book of World Records, but alas, a man with over 25,000 keychains beat me to the punch!! All I needed was about 24,851 more key chains than him...

Lately, I've really missed having a collection. There's just nothing like the feeling you get when you find an object that is begging to be apart of your collection. Something in me says, I HAVE to have you!! You belong to my collection and no one else's! Okay, so maybe I'm exagerating, but not really. I equate being a collector to that of a treasure hunter! You are on this search, high and low, for the missing treasure to your trove, and when you happen upon it, it's really exciting! Not as exciting as finding a treasure chest full of millions of dollars worth of gold, so I guess it's second best, but still, so much fun!

So, I recently happened upon a new collection! YAY! This new collection started with a love for three things; miniatures (I have a questionably irrational fascination with miniatures!), tea cups (nothing like a dainty cup of chamomile tea), and antiques.

My grandmother and I enjoy antique shopping together, and it's something we've been doing since I was a kid. When I was about 6 years old, she took me to an antique shop where I saw a giant bean bag cow for $1.00, and I begged her to buy it for me. Much to my parents dismay, Moo Moo (that's what I named the cow) became a part of our lives for the next several years before our little, but mostly monstrous, yorkie dog destroyed poor Moo Moo.

Anyway, my grandmother took me antique shopping the other day, and that's where a new collection joyously entered into my life! Minature tea cups! It combines my love for antiques, tea cups, and minatures. You can't go wrong with a collection like that, unless of course they fall and shatter...but I'm hoping for the best!:)

Such pretty detail.

Recently, I've taken on the rather daunting task of helping my grandmother go through boxes upon boxes upon boxes of her antiques/collections, organizing, labeling, grouping them according to catagory, and placing them back in their proper boxes. Needless to say, this task is going to take longer than I had imagined, but if anyone can do it, I definitely can, for I love antiques and organizing!

I also love this precious time with my grandmother and hearing about each story behind her cherished belongings. I must say, while organizing and labeling her stuff, I wrote my name down on paper and taped it to a few of her antiques that I love;)

One day, I hope to decorate my home with several nice pieces of antique art, furniture, or trinkets that have meaning behind them, instead of getting a "Room's to Go" (no offense to my parents!) set to display in my home:)

Don't get me wrong, I don't want my home looking like you've walked into your local antique shop (although homes like that are very interesting), but rather, I want a few well made, interesting, conversational pieces that have historical or family meaning behind them.

Rotating My Diet, and Trying to Clear Up Food Intolerances

2011-09-22T17:31:00.000-07:00

Over the past year, I've been receiving tons of emails, asking me about my diet, and what I am doing that is helping me heal from being chronically ill. Due to those emails (and phone calls), I decided to put together a video explaining my diet. I've spent the past two months filming and editing this video. I wanted to do it in a way that makes it easier for others to understand. When a person is chronically ill, it can often be very hard to read, research, or gather information on how to heal or how to eat better. I did this video in hopes that it can be helpful to others who are looking for a healthier diet. In short, this video is a compacted version of what I've been teaching myself over the past three years.

Food has played a massive part in helping me heal, but it is not always the answer for complete healing from complex chronic illness. I'm the perfect example of diligently spending years trying to heal, coming a LONG way, but still struggling with health issues.

I'm so thankful for my new doctor. She is that extra help I need, which my diet cannot offer. I'm hoping the combination of my rotation diet, organic living, along with treatments my doc has to offer will be very beneficial to me. I realize, that we humans can only do so much, but it is ultimately God, the Giver of life, Who is our Great Physician and healer!

Part 1
This is for my friends living with chronic illnesses, those who are looking for healthier food choices, and those trying to heal from food sensitivities.

Part 2

Purpose Through Pain

2011-09-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

"Give me a new idea," I said,
While thinking on a sleepless bed;
"A new idea that'll bring to earth
A balm for souls of priceless worth;
That'll give men thoughts of things above,
And teach them how to serve and love,
That'll banish every selfish thought,
And rid men of the sins they've fought."

The new thought came, just how, I'll tell:
'Twas when on bended knee I fell,
And sought from Him who knows full well
The way our sorrow to expel.
See God in all things, great and small,
And give to Him praise whate'er befall,
In life or death, in pain or woe,
See God, and overcome your foe.

I saw Him in the morning light,
He made the day shine clear and bright;
I saw Him in the noontide hour,
And gained from Him refreshing shower.
At evening, when worn and sad,
He gave me help, and made me glad.
At midnight, when on tossing bed
My weary soul to sleep He led.

I saw Him when great losses came,
And found He loved me just the same.
When heavy loads I had to bear,
I found He lightened every care.
By sickness, sorrow, sore distress,
He calmed my mind and gave me rest.
He's filled my heart with joyous praise
Since I gave Him the upward gaze.

'Twas new to me, yet old to some,
This thought that to me has become
A revelation of the way
We all should live throughout the day;
For as each day unfolds its light,
We'll walk by faith and not by sight.
Life will, indeed, a blessing bring,
If we see God in everything.

A.E Finn

Baby Soccer Themed Room

2011-09-12T20:09:00.000-07:00

This past year, I've been randomly working on painting a baby soccer themed room.

I was a little nervous about painting a soccer ball directly onto the wall, because that was my first soccer ball and there was no room for mistakes. I also painted the grass boarder around the whole room. I built the grass up from the background, starting with black grass (looked terrible!), to green grass, to light green grass, to highlights!

I also painted (First time ever) these fake metal poles to hang the rope and soccer jerseys on. It was SO hard painting those poles perfectly straight, but I somehow did it!

A closer glimpse of the fake metal pole. These are not the best quality pics (sorry for the blurriness). I took them with my cellphone, but they didn't turn out too bad. Anyway, here is a bit of my art, but I have more to come!

A Lovely Post On Love!

2011-09-11T18:05:00.002-07:00

This morning I read such a lovely and wise post on the topic of "love" called, "So This Is...Love?"

If any of you ladies are serious about courtship, Christian marriage, ect, I encourage you to head over to one of my favorite blogs, "Your Sacred Calling" and read this very wise and encouraging post!! You can read it here.

Teaching Myself To Garden, and Homemade Compost Bin!

2011-08-24T19:35:00.001-07:00

Hello everyone! So, lately I've been trying to teach myself how to garden.

I've just finished reading "Organic Garden Basics" by Bob Flowerdew. There's a lot more to gardening than just putting a seed in the dirt!

I had some luck with my summer garden...then we went on vacation and it died!

Digging up the garden was fun because it was LOADED with dragon flies!

Unfortunately, the area I live in doesn't exactly allow big gardens. If I had it my way, half of our backyard would be one giant garden!

In the beginning, I tried to make this compost bin all by myself, but thankfully, I got some much need help. Chicken wire just didn't behave as well as I had hoped it would...

Getting the measurements just right!

It's not the fanciest compost bin in the world...but it will have to do for now.

Securing the chicken wire to the poles.

Security.

Back up security!

All I need now is a flat wooden board to use as a door, a plastic tarp to cover the compost bin, and organic material- egg shells, straw, leaves, juice pulp, veggies, ect, ect.

The heat made me feel sick due to Pots and my heart rate (which is why I CAN'T WAIT for fall weather!!!), but I still love to garden! Hope everyone has a great week!

Weddings, Life, Health, Random Updates, Ect!

2011-08-12T14:21:00.000-07:00

My cousin got married this summer!

It was the first wedding I've ever been in.

God blessed me with good health on this day!

We had such a wonderful time together.

The memories will last forever<3

There's nothing like sculpting a hammer head shark in the sand.

There was no way to get the shark's fin very tall and thin, unless of course, you are working with sand that defies gravity!

Speaking of sharks, we went shark teeth hunting several times this summer.

I didn't actually find this megaladon tooth, but one day, I hope to travel to a river where you can actually find prehistoric shark teeth this big.

We celebrated the 4th of July!

I'm currently working on several video projects about my healthy rotation diet.

I'm hoping it will be of some help to other people living with chronic illness and food intolerance issues.

Nothing like a plate of veggies, avocados, and quinoa!

I'm currently going through the book "Nourishing Traditions" for like the 3rd time now, and by George, I think I've got it! It was beyond words OVERWHELMING in the beginning, but now, it's coming to me like second nature, praise God!

It has stormed ALOT this summer...

I've been playing chess alot this summer too.

The new member of our family (cat), is making herself quite at home, and Sassy doesn't seem to mind.

Sassy learned a new trick, to "sit pretty.":)

Even though I'm improving with my health, I'm still chronically ill. So, this past summer, I've been working really hard on various creative, serious, informative, realistic, and encouraging videos to bring awareness to invisible illnesses.

Sometimes the emotional and physical pain of living with a chronic illness can really get to me, so making videos has been a "healing" way for me to channel my pain.

God has recently led me to a new doctor, where cases like mine are her specialty. I saw her today, and I have hope that my life could change for the better, because she knows how to help me. I've had SOOOO many doctors blow me off in the past, where as, this doctor just gets me.

I will be having various tests done (blood tests, tests through IVs, ect) in the next month or two, so I would really, really appreciate any prayers!

As I rode home from my appointment today, I felt overwhelmed and started crying. Then I turned the radio on and heard, "I will not fear the storm. My help is on the way. O my God, He will not delay! My refuge and strength, always. I will not fear; His promise is true. My God will come through always!<3 Song by- Kristian Stanfill

So Long....For Now Anyways!

2011-06-19T20:38:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone! I know I haven't been blogging as much lately, and I have many posts just waiting patiently to be posted...

However, those posts are just going to have to wait, because I'm taking a blogging break for a bit, but not forever! As soon as my summer calms down, I hope to be more consistant with blogging.

Hope everyone is doing good, and have a happy and blessed summer!

Day of Visibility

2011-06-06T20:42:00.000-07:00

Today is "Day of Visibility", and my friend made this great awareness video for our condition called Pots (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). She surprised me by putting a pic of me in this video at 0:18 seconds. She is such an amazing person and I thank her for doing a great job in spreading awareness for invisible illnesses!

Dehydrating Kale Chips, BBQ Chips, Crackers, and Desserts!

2011-05-20T13:12:00.000-07:00

I have so much trouble with processed food, so I've resorted to making alot of my food from scratch. Recently, I received some money for a painting, so I bought an Excalibur dehydrator. When my dehydrator came in the mail, it felt like Christmas morning!!

Since receiving my dehydrator, I've been dehydrating up a storm! Here are some of my concoctions-

I was really excited to dehydrate kale chips, and I must say, these "chips" turned out great!

In the food processor, I blended about a cup of cashews, 2 TB Apple cider vinegar, 2 TB lemon juice, 1 TB nutritional yeast, 2 cloves garlic, and 1 red bell pepper.

After blending, I poured the mixture over the kale chips and mixed really well. Before pouring mixture over the kale, I took the greens off of their spines.

This is such a fun and tasty snack!:)

I ordered the "Krazy Kracker" lady's recipe book and tried out this recipe for dehydrated BBQ chips. It has taken me several tries, and I have yet to perfect this recipe.

After blending ingredients, I poured mixture onto paraflex sheets for dehydrating.

I feel very close to having this recipe perfected, but each "failed" attempt just results in a tasty cracker, so you really can't go wrong with this recipe!

One day, I didn't have many gluten free options for lunch (very rare occasion considering I plan out my weekly menu carefully), so I came up with this very random lunch!

I took some chicken I deboned and mixed apples and mayonaise to make chicken salad. Then, I found a piece of leftover gluten free walrus bread to put chicken salad over it. I also whipped up some homemade hummus, and used my dehydrated crackers for dipping, and then I munched on leftover kale chips! Very random indeed!

Homemade hummus with dehydrated flax crackers.

I didn't have all of the ingredients for my hummus, so I just worked with what I had, and it tasted great!

1 can garbanzo beans, drained, and rinsed.

Put beans in food processor and add 1 tsp minced garlic, 3 TB lemon juice, 3 1/2 TB olive oil, 1 1/2 tsp chopped basil, salt and pepper to taste.

Here are the other indgredients I didn't have that day- 1 tsp cilantro and some tahini. I have yet to try tahini in hummus, but it seems to be a common ingredient in hummus, but I'm not sure if it's gluten free.

For the flax crackers, I just threw a couple carrots, garlic powder,salt, chili powder, and water in the blender. Then I folded in 3/4 cup of soaked flax seeds, and dehydrated for 10 hours at 105 degrees F. It's very easy to make up a cracker recipe off the top of your head. One time, I blended carrots, apples,water, spices, salt, and chia seeds, and dehydrated the liquid, and out came a bunch of crackers for dipping!

Here is a little dessert I dehydrated. It's not the same as Betty Crocker brownies, but it's not so bad.

2 cups shredded coconut

2 Majool Dates (soaked for 10 min)

3 TB raw honey

1 TB carob powder

1 tsp vanilla

*Blend well in food processor, pack into 3/4 inch squars (add more honey if it doesn't stick well), and dehydrate for 6-8 hours on 105 degrees F.

Can't wait to see what else I can dehydrate. The possibilities are endless!!:)

Christian Dating With A Purpose!

2011-05-15T20:19:00.001-07:00

When I was 15, I had just entered the dating game, sort of... Thankfully, God protected me in many ways, and I've never even come close to getting my heart broken. Infact, my few relationships (if you can even call them that) were mainly based on friendship with a label. The only reason I started dating had to do with pressure from my peers, because a 15 year old without a boyfriend isn't cool, right? Atleast I thought so...

After having spent years with a chronic illness, it has drastically changed me and quickly matured me in many ways. So thinking about going back to the dating game isn't even a part of my mindset. Not only is it not a part of my mindset, but it has been replaced with something different, as in something along the lines of courtship. I understand that one can date, marry, and live happily ever after, because my parents did just that. However, a form of courtship is something God has drawn my heart to, and I'm very thankful. One day, I hope to teach my children to pray for their future spouse and wait on the Lord's best for their lives.

So, I know the word "courtship" might sound really old fashion and can be defined in many different ways, but every once in awhile I use the word to give others a better idea of what I desire. Infact, I rarely use the word "courtship", and just say that I believe in Christian dating with a purpose!

I think if we're going to get technical, then the proper definition of courtship would be...or Ashleigh's definition that goes something like this...

A young man who is interested in a young lady shows no partial favortism towards her and treats her respectfully as a sister in Christ. Through much prayer and the guidance of his father and/or pastor, the young man goes to the girl's father, asking his permission to court her, meaning to get to know her better for the specific purpose of marriage, not casual dating for the heck of it. If the girl says yes, the courtship, based on communication, begins with two families coming together with the vision of helping, guiding, and protecting the two love birds until marriage. Ofcourse, the courtship can end at any moment if he or she does not feel the Lord leading them to marry, and they just go back to being brother and sister in Christ...The End!:)

(Highly recommend this book to those that want to learn more about courtship and the Biblical family)

Asking a father's permission to court his daughter sounds so old fashion because he's only supposed to ask permission for her hand in marriage, right? In "What He Must Be If He Wants To Marry My Daughter", Voddie Baucham says something along the lines of, "Why should a guy ask for the father's permission to marry his daughter if he has already stolen her heart??" What a great question!! I think the act of asking for her hand in marriage has become more of a respectful tradition in our society than anything else, and courtship is something found only in era's long past.

Also, a fatherly duty to protect a daughter's heart, is something that is rapidly being lost in our generation, because many dad's send their duaghters into the world and hope they come back with a good one. Trust me, very few teens are cable of picking a "good one"! I think parents hope their children won't have to go through the dating game drama, and will safely sail through those adolescent years, straight to adulthood, where they make the wise decision of marrying a good one! But what does a "good one" even look like?? How are we supposed to choose wisely if we haven't been given Godly role models, and Godly examples of Biblical marriage. I sadly know many, many girls out there who have been scarred by adolescent relationships, where they really could have used the wisdom and proctection of a fatherly figure.

So, as you may have read in my "No Desire For Marriage" post, that I'm content in the season God has placed me in, and I don't plan on marrying anytime soon. That doesn't mean I don't seriously pray about or prepare for marriage! If God's plan for my life does not inclued the gift of singleness, then I want to be ready for that season and know what a God-honoring relationship looks like. I will most likely be married longer than I am single, and courtship & marriage is an amazing testimony and ministry.

So, what exactly is Christian dating supposed to look like?? That's a very good question, one I am still learning about!

I realize that the details of courtship or Christain dating with a purpose (whatever you like to call it) are harder to explain, because I've seen it played out in many different ways. I've seen Christian couples who decide to date, but mainly in group settings or around everyday atmospheres where they can be held accountable for their actions. Then I've seen the other extreme of courtship as in, meeting one day, the next day get engaged, then married a couple months later. I've seen some courting couples that choose to save their first kiss for the alter, which can be terribly awkward (Witnessed the awkwardness with my own eyes!), or can be incredibly sweet and inspiring!:)

All of the little details that could go along with courtship/Christian dating isn't near as important as WHY two people are coming together and for what purpose? Being vision minded, on the same page, headed in the same direction, with a love for God's Word, and ofcourse, in love, to me, is the most important aspect of any Christian relationship!

Again, courtship cannot always be exactly defined because everyone's circumstances are so different. So chances are mine will not look exactly like the definition I wrote above, and I'm fine with that because God has different plans for each of His children. You can pray and invision how you would like that season in your life to go, but most likely, God will have something better and more detailed planned out for your life So trust Him with the pen of your love story, because He is the ultimate Author of your life!

So, what are your thoughts on courtship/Christian dating?:)

Weekly Menu!

2011-05-07T11:06:00.000-07:00

Each Saturday morning, I spend time making out a weekly grocery menu. My cookbook is constantly being revamped with new recipes going in, old recipes thrown away, and recipes awaiting testing.

When I make out a menu each week, I look as if I'm doing massive research with papers scattered everywhere! I have SO many recipes hand written on paper that are waiting to be tested, so I have way too many loose papers scattered over my floor. Thankfully, I know it won't stay this way forever, and eventually, I hope to have a very organized cookbook full of great recipes! So, until then, let the experimenting continue!

This is my menu plan for the upcoming week-

*Monday*

Breakfast- Green smoothie

Lunch- Tuna salad sandwich on gluten free bread, with a glass of carrot,cuccumber,apple,celery,lemon juice

Dinner- Roast, mashed potatoes, zipper peas

Snack- Hummus and rice chips

*Tuesday*

Breakfast- Oatmeal and turkey bacon

Luch- Leftovers

Dinner- Sushi and egg drop soup

Snack- pretzels and fruit

*Wednesday*

Breakfast- scrambled egg with a glass of carrot juice

Lunch- Tuna salad sandwich or sardines, crackers, and avocados

Dinner- Deer chili & quinoa

Snack- hummus

*Thursday*

Breakfast- Green smoothie and walnuts

Lunch- Leftovers

Dinner- salmon, salad, sweet potato fries

Snack- not sure...

*Friday*

Breakfast- quinoa and turkey bacon

Lunch- leftovers

Dinner- haven't decided yet.

*The experimental foods for this week are....

1) Dehydrated Kale chips

2) Dehydrated carob/coconut brownies

3) Dehydrated BBQ chips

4) Sushi and egg drop soup

Transitioning to Organic Living

2011-04-25T18:22:00.000-07:00

Transitioning to a more organic lifestyle takes alot of time and information, but is so worth it! Here are a few changes that I have made.

*Getting enough sleep is healing- lavender or chamomile tea right before bed makes me feel more relaxed. Also, limiting computer time before bed helps me get to sleep easier.

*Chewing my food 35 times or more aids in digestion. It's a simple thing to do, but can benefit you in alot of ways.

*Cut out processed sugar and eat only raw honey. Raw honey is calming to the nerves. I occasionaly cheat and will have some gluten free chocolate chip cookies that taste fantastic!

*Adding green smoothies into my diet which consist of (Tai coconut milk, 1 TB of chia seeds (soaked for 10 or more minutes), a spoon full of raw honey, 3 handfuls of spinach (good way to get more greens in your diet), and a handful of blueberries (blueberries aid in cognitive function).

*Drinking juice along with my lunches. My favorite: carrot, apple, celery, lemon, and cucumber.

*Healthy meals like, honey glazed salmon or roast, quinoa, or a salad, or carrot fries, and asparagus.

*Eating 3 good meals a day, and not snacking at night.

*Planting a garden.

*Getting rid of plastic containers and using only glass containers.

*Buying a dehydrator to make my own organic crackers, chips, and cookies, etc.

*Buying meat that is grass fed, free range,organic, ect. It may be more expensive but you can't put a price on health, trust me, I know!

*Stop using the microwave. That can be hard to do, because it's so quick and easy to use!

*Get more fresh air and open windows in home more.

*Soaking, cooking, and freezing my own beans instead of using canned beans. Sometimes I still have to use canned beans.

*Making my own bone broth instead of buying store bought broth.

Here are some things I'm learning about, but haven't applied this aspect of organic living to my life...yet!

*Homemade deodorant.

*Using soap nuts instead of store bought detergant. Getting rid of fabric softeners.

*Replacing store bought cleaners with homemade cleaners.

*Incorporating more essential oils into my life.

*Learn to make elderberry tea for flu season.

*Learn to make kefir or coconut milk kefir.

*Learn to sprout buckwheat.

*Grow my own wheatgrass for juicing.

So, this may sound extreme, haha, but I'm really enjoying learning more about natural things that aid in health, and it's really fun!

A Semi-Raw Luch and Dinner!

2011-04-11T19:20:00.001-07:00

So, lately I've been doing more research on the raw food diet, and I have decided to incorporate alot more raw fruits and veggies into my diet. I've been juicing alot more too, and I have to say, I have alot more of energy!!! Yay for precious energy!!!

I realize that our bodies are like cars, and we need the proper gas to help us run better. God has created amazing food to help our bodies function best. I still believe in eating meat and grains, but I defintely believe in adding a ton more fruits & veggies.

For lunch one day, I made a mock tortilla using several big lettuce leaves, turkey bacon, avocado, squirt of lemon juice, and olive oil. I could have put tomatoes, carrots, or cucumber on it, but I drank a glass of carrot, cucumber, celery, lemon, and apple juice instead.

Last night, I took on the daunting task of making an entire raw Mexican dinner for my whole family. It turned out to be very easy and extremely delicous!

I made vegan cheese out of Brazil nuts, made the taco meat out walnuts, and made homemade salsa which tasted so fresh! The only thing that was not raw in this meal was the tostito chips. My dehydrator hasn't come in the mail yet, so I haven't been able to make homemade tortilla chips.

I took the "meat", "cheese", avocado, olive oil, salsa, and avocados, and placed them on the lettuce "tortilla", and wrapped it up. Suprisingly, this meal is very filling!!

My family raved over how amazing this meal was! I think I'll "cook" it more often!:)

Growing in Grace

2011-04-03T18:02:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been reading some of my old blog posts and journal entries, and some of it makes me smile, some parts make me sad, and some of it makes me laugh at the writings of an extremely deep, over zealous girl, trying to find her way in this crazy world! Oh, how much we change and grow on this journey!!

When I'm thrity, I'll probably read my writings of the twenty one year old I currently am, seeking and trusting God in every step I take, and I'll probably wish I could hug her and say, "Don't worry so much, God has it all planned out!"

Do you ever do that?? Do you ever wish you could go back in time and hug the younger version of yourself, and say, "everything is going to be okay."?

From my writings, you might think I worry about my future, and in one respect, you're right, because I am only human. Yes, I believe God has a future for me, not only because I trust in His Word, but because the clock keeps ticking, and I keep moving forward. Unfortunately, the hands on the clock can't promise my future to consist of the things I greatly desire. The clock's job is to keep moving forward, and my job is to keep trusting God. Thankfully, I know that whatever I'm called to do in this life, it will be for His glory and the good of His will! Rom 8:28

If I have one big fear in my life, it is that 60+ years from now, I will be on my death bed and look back over my life, and feel like I've wasted it!! Do you ever feel that way?? I read a book once called "Don't Waste Your Life", by John Piper. It was descent, a bit repetitive, but really thought provoking. My favorite quote from the book became-

"only one life
'twill soon be past
only what's done
for Christ will last"

That saying sticks in my head today, and still remains one of my favorite quotes.

60+ years from now (if I live that long!), I'd like to look back on my life, and hope that I lived every minute of it for Christ! I realize that when I'm old, gray, and on my death bed, it won't matter how successful I became in this life. It won't matter what the world thinks of me. It will only matter who I was in Christ, and who the people are standing around my hopsital bed.

When I look into the faces of the family gathered around my bed, I hope and pray that I invested more time into their lives than I did in my own pursuits. Investing your time into someone's life, being an example of Christ to them, and giving them a hopeful view of God's creation and of the world to come is taking part in the preparation of the world's greatest and biggest family reunion of all!!

I am blessed to have a chronic illness, in that it has taught me how fragile and short life is, and that superficial things are here today and gone tomorrow, but Christ's Kingdom is forever!!

Spring!

2011-04-03T17:06:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't been blogging everyone!! Life has been busy, and being busy is a blessing!

I'm SOOOO excited spring is here!! This is the perfect weather for people with POTS, and I have been feeling pretty good. Spring weather is so calming to me....

To me, spring is...

flip flops!! If winter didn't freeze my toes, I'd wear flip flops 24/7!

The best dairy free, gluten free ice cream EVER!!

Big Butterflies gracing my garden.

Beach trips with the family!:)

Sunny days and bright flowers.

Spring cleaning and birds chirping.

Hope!

But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you."
Psalm 39:7

My Vegetable Garden

2011-03-19T13:28:00.001-07:00

A few days ago, my dad and I planted a vegetable garden. We planted tomatoes, squash, zucchini, basil, watermelon, and other veggies that I can't even remember right now. I made sure everything in this garden is organic from the soil, manure, to the heirloom seeds we bought. It's important to have good soil so that your plants can get all of the good nutrients they need.

These tomatoes don't look too perky, probably because we just watered them down. I don't know about you, but I LOVE a fresh tomato on my sandwich!

It's very therapeutic to plant, grow, and weed a garden. Not only is the fresh air and sunshine good, but also the dirt/soil, which contains micro organism and nutrients that are good for your health, in that it helps boost your immune system among other healing properties. In the end, we hope to eat some fresh veggies soon!

Just chillin' in the garden:) I'm surprised I haven't given this creature a name yet. If you know me, he'll probably end up having a name that is entirely made up:)

I'm so happy my little yellow rose bush survived winter and now has one tiny bloom!

I also planted a willow tree that I've had to keep inside all winter. I didn't take a picture of it because it looks like death, and I thought it did die, but now tiny leaves are starting to grow on the limbs again. Willow trees are so beautiful, and I hope one day, it grows to be massive! Can you just imagine sitting under this tree!

This Looks Like An Interesting Book!

2011-03-07T21:03:00.000-08:00

Amazing GF/CF Meatloaf!

2011-03-04T15:12:00.001-08:00

For years our family has been eating rather bland meatloaf, so the other day, my dad came up with a new recipe to make it taste alot better. This meatloaf turned out SO good, we decided to make it for a family who needed dinner one night. As soon as they finished eating, they called and asked us for the recipe. My dad said he could hear the kids in the background raving over the meatloaf too!

This is officially my new favorite meal!!

Amazing GF/CF (gluten free, casein/dairy free) meatloaf recipe:

Dice 1/2 onion, 1 red bellpepper, 1 can diced tomatos, and saute in a pan with olive oil until tender. Turn stove off and let the sauted veggies cool down.

After cooling, pour sauted veggies into blender or food processor (I've used both) and blend until creamy.

Then, pour blended veggies into a bowl and add, 1 egg, 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder (I use McCormick because that brand is usually gluten free), and sprinkle desired amount of sea salt & ground pepper.

For the breading, I use Glutino's brand of crackers. In the box, there are two small bags of crackers. I use about 1-1/2 bags, and I crumble them up and toss in the bowl with the other ingredients.

Then I add the meat & sausage to my bowl of ingredients and begin using my hands to combine them all together. For the meat, I use 1 pound of organic ground deer meat and 1 pound of ground deer sausage that my dad killed (I guess any meat will do).

I pack meat into 6 by 10 inch pan, and I place that pan into a bigger glass pan, 9 by 13 inch . In the 9 by 13 inch, glass pan, I add enough water until it reaches up one inch inside the pan. Then I place the thing in a 350 degree F oven for almost 2 hours.

Enjoy!

Do Hard Things!

2011-03-01T10:39:00.000-08:00

"Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, conduct, love, spirit, faith, and purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

In my teens I read a fantastic book called "Do Hard Things", written by teenage twin brothers Alex and Brett Harris. Every teenager needs to read this book and realize they are capable of much more than society often gives them credit for. They are more than their label "teenager". Infact, the word "teenager" wasn't even invented until the 1930s.

There was a time when I couldn't wait to turn 20 years old so that I could drop my "teen" label. I've never really felt like a teenager so having that label really bothered me. In my "tween" years, I felt more mature than most of my peers, and felt more like 13 going on 30 (which is a cute movie by the way:). Age 16-20, a chronic illness robbed me of my teen years, and in some ways, I'm glad. Although I missed out on alot, God protected me from alot of hurt, immaturity, and embarrassment that those around me had to endure.

While reading "Do Hard Things", I began feeling really upset about my circumstances at the time. I knew I was capable of much more than my teen label, yet God didn't grant me the physical ability to do much about it. The "Do Hard Things" aspect of my teen years was being still before God, suffering, and waiting with faith and trust. At times, that was VERY hard!!

If you are a teen, I encourage you to read this book, and if you are an adult, I still encourage you to read this book and pass it on to your children, so that maybe one day, young people can rise above the "teen" label and live their best for Christ!

The Reality of POTS!

2011-02-28T17:06:00.000-08:00

I made this video to not only practice my editing, but to spread awareness about this very invisible illness. Unfortunately there are not many POTS/Dysautonomia recovery stories out there, and SO many people are suffering greatly, and even more are going years undiagnosed!!

This paragraph from the book "Life Without Limits" inspired me to start making youtube videos for those with chronic illnesses:

"One of the best ways I've found for holding on even when our prayers are not answered is to reach out to others. If your suffering is a burden, reach out to ease that of someone else and bring hope to them. Lift them up so that they will be comforted with the knowledge that they are not alone in their suffering. Offer compassion when you need it. Be a friend when you need friendship. Give hope when most need it."

Thank you for inspiring SO many people Nick Vuijicic!!!

The Reality of POTS!

"Life Without Limits!"

2011-02-28T10:48:00.001-08:00

My best friend gave me an awesome book for Christmas called, "Life Without Limits," written by, Nick Vuijic (Voy-eh-chich). I've been a big fan of his for a while now and I love watching his videos on Youtube. This guy is really inspiring and has such a great sense of humor. If you are going through a tough time in your life, I highly reccomend "Life Without Limits".

Gluten and Casein Free Cook Book!

2011-02-17T19:04:00.000-08:00

For Christmas my parents got me this gluten and casein free cookbook full of great recipes called "Cooking For Isaiah". I got a bit overwhelmed in wanting to start cooking immediately, but didn't know where to begin, so I started with the two most "fun" looking meals. Not only does my family really enjoy these two dishes, but if you have kids, I guarantee they will really love them too!

I was that rare kid that absolutely HATED spaghetti!! If my mom ever cooked it, I would usually just eat the noodles with butter and cheese on it. I'm happy to report that because of this cookbook, I no longer hate spaghetti!! I cook this meal usually once a week for my family and we continue to rave about it everytime. For the noodles I use gluten free "Tinkyada" Pad Thai noodles that taste amazing!! For the meatballs, I use the recipe from the book, but I add sage and use almond milk instead of rice milk. Instead of making my own spaghetti sauce, which I hope to learn how in the future, I use "Classico". And ofcourse, everything is salted with organic sea salt, which I highly, highly recommend over store bought, fine grain salt. It makes a monumental difference and it's healthier.

This Frito crusted chicken recipe was really good, but not as great tasting as the homemade honey dijon sauce used for dipping. As you can see, I poured the sauce over my broccoli too!:) If you have kids, they will LOVE this fun and tasty meal! Now, this is one of those meals I make every once in awhile on a fun Friday night, because I didn't feel that great after eating it. Either the Fritos did not sit good with me (I try to stay away from processed food), or I ate too much dipping sauce, but it was still worth it!:)

I didn't post the recipes on my blog, because I'm not sure if it's legal to copy out of someone else's book, but if you like what you see, I definitely recommend buying "Cooking For Isaiah"! I still have many more recipes that I'm excited to try from this book. Now, this lady uses alot of processed sugar in her baking, so I just substitute it with raw honey, stevia, or agave nectar.

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well, and I can't wait to share my next GFCF recipe with you, and it will be an actual recipe this time;) Take care!<3

Chivalry is Not Dead!

2011-02-14T15:08:00.000-08:00

A simple gesutre can go a long way...

This morning I went to the Hallmark store to by a dear friend a Valentine's card. As I was walking in the store, a man in uniform proceeded to walk out at the same time. Instead of making his way quickly passed me, he immediately stepped aside, got into military-like position (I'm sure there is a name for that), nodded his head at me and said, "Ma'am". As I walked passed him, I smiled and said thank you, and then he politely walked away.

Not even ten seconds later, another man practically burst through the door, and loudly asked the old cashier if they had any Valentine cards. The first thought that popped in my head was, "Obviously, Hallmark has V-day cards!lol" Then the cashier came over to the man and showed him where the cards were. The man was just being kind of obnoxious and constantly reaching over me to grab a card. I finally moved out of his way and waited for him to finish...

Needless to say, the man in uniform HIGHLY impressed me!

One night, I watched a 20/20 special about chivalry. In the episode, an actor who posed as a random guy on the street, would walk up to women who were carrying heavy items, and offer his help. Alot of the women were offended and basically told the man to get lost. Some of the women acted shocked and decided that chivalry wasn't dead after all. Personally, I would have said no thank you, assuming he was a shady character trying to steal my stuff!:)

I've decided that it's sad that ladies take offense when men want to be selfless and help, or act shocked, or like me , become highly impressed. Our attitude isn't rediculous, but rather some things in our culture are! Today I saw the man in uniform as someone who wasn't just being an honorable military gentleman, but a man who selflessly took two seconds out of his day to respect a lady and make her feel important.

When I was in middle school, I could count on one hand the guys in my class who showed much, if any, chivalry, maturity, or respect. Obviously middle schoolers are not the most mature cookies in the box, lol, but I still like the verse that says, "Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, conduct, love, spirt, faith, and purity, 1 Tim 4:12. Anyway, I had a few close guy friends who I knew I could count on, but many others were incredibly immature, constantly slamming doors in girls faces, playfully slapping girls on their backside, making crude sexual inuendos, disrespecting them in SO many ways, ect. I saw that on a daily basis and I had never even heard of the word "chivalry", so guys acting that way towards girls including myself, became normal.

I've heard stories of men opening doors for women, and end up getting blasted for it! If someone rudely yelled at me for being selfless, I would never want to open another door for anyone ever again. I understand that many women, including myself have had or do have a hard time respecting some men out there, so it's understandable that a guy offering selfless servanthood on our behalf could become somewhat questionable or surprising.

I have to ask, how many times have you had to open a door for a man? I don't know about you, but I have lost count. Obviously, if someone is in need, by all means go and help them if they need a door opened. But what about the men that just stand there, and you hope that a bit of chilvary still remains in them... but you end up having to do it for them.

You may be reading this and think, what's the big deal about a guy opening a door for a girl. It's more than just the act of opening a door, it is a display of character and selflesness. We need more men to see us, protect us, and cherish us as the incredible daughters, mothers, and sisters many of us are.

So, I have to ask, why is it that seeing an honorable man selflessly respect a lady has become a rarity in our society today?

"No man has ever risen to the stature of spiritual manhood until he has found that it is finer to serve somebody else than it is to serve himself." - Woodrow Wilson

"Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage."
Theodore Roosevelt

No Desire For Marriage

2011-02-14T07:00:00.001-08:00

I know, I know, what an aweful title for a post, especially on Valentine's Day! But it got your attention didn't it?:)

If I'm being honest here, I have no desire to get married right now, and it has nothing to do with being scared (atleast not that scared;) or having the mindset of wanting to live life to the fullest before I have to deal with that huge responsibility. Also, this lack of desire, or rather contentment in the sphere God has currently placed me in, in no way changes my view of Christian marriage, nor does it affect my multi-generational vision. Obviously, in the future I would love a family of my own to care for and to grow old with, as I'm sure many do, but just not right now... I've prayed for contentment in this area of my life, and it seems God has answered my prayers for the time being. Other factors play into this current mindset of mine, including a chronic illness.

I believe many of us single ladies have gone through a time of discontentment and wishing God would go ahead and bring Mr. Right into our lives. I find it's very easy to become discontent with being single, especially around Valentine's Day. I've had my moments in the past, always having to be the 3rd wheel,lol, but I can honestly say that I am so thankful I am single this Valentine's Day.

I think it's very important for young people to be busy and industrious, doing whatever God has called them to do for the time being, especially if they have the physical ability to do so, and not focus on a marriage that doesn't exist. Ofcourse, it's still important for Christians to be vision minded and have a biblical view of marriage, so not thinking about marriage is easier said than done, right?

Although I think it important not to dwell on marriage, I'm certainly not opposed to preparing for it, because preparing for marriage is preparing for life! Most people I know are married, and chances are, someday you will be too. Even if you are not called to marriage, you are not wasting time preparing for it. Instead, you are learning how to take care of yourself and those around you better and more efficiently, and learning to be a better servant of the Lord. I could list all of the things it might take to prepare yourself for whatever God calls you to do in the future with the possibility of being responsible for the care, spiritual guidance, and nuture of a family someday, but it would take a while... and I can't speak for everyone because each person is so different, with different gifts and goals in mind.

After being sick for so many years, I find myself drawn to the more simple things in life. I feel that I don't ask that much out of life, but with an illness, sometimes it seems next to impossible for many goals to be accomplished and all of my prayers for the future to be answered. I feel as if over the past few years, I have poured my absolute heart and soul out to God about my future, and sometimes I wonder if He still hears me. Has He forgotten about me? Why haven't all my prayers been answered already??

Ofcourse He still hears me, and I know He hasn't forgotten about me, for the Lord knows those who are His, 2 Tim 2:19, and I know He has good reason for my illness (Rom 8:28), but the evils of doubt have a way of creeping into the mind every now and then.

Waiting for God can often be extremely hard, especially when your future is at stake. I don't think doubtful waiting is neccessarily a matter of lack of faith, but rather a patience issue...

"Do not grow weary by doing good, for in due season, you shall reap if you do not lose heart." Galations 6:9

We may know God's Word and hold dear to His promises, but in our fast paced society, waiting can often be incredibly difficult! I've found that waiting can not only perpetuate a doubtful mindset, but also stir up "what if" thinking to the max!! Faith is the opposite of "what if", but "what if" always seems to come before faith. We've all had our moments of "what if" thinking, and if I had a dollar for every time I thought "what if", I'd be rich!!

What if I never get better?

What if I get worse?

What if I never move on from this season in my life?

What if I never accomplish any of my goals in life?

What if, what if, what if...

Wow, how did I go from preparing for marriage to "what if" thinking?LOL!

My point in saying all of this is to tell you to focus on your God given task at hand, no matter how small, and not worry about an unknown future. By focusing on what God has called you to do, He is already preparing you for exactly what He has instore for your life!

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to an all knowing God- Corrie Ten Boom

"Wait on the Lord, be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait I say on the Lord." Psalm 27:14

My Sister

2011-02-12T09:24:00.000-08:00

My sister Caitlin wrote a very sweet post about me on her blog "Journey Through New Eyes." She did a very good job breifly explaining all that I've gone through with a chronic illness. Actually, there isn't many people who know my real story besides close family member and those who read my blog. I'm the type of person that has truly suffered in silence until this past year. Part of the reason why I kept silent for so many years had to do with not being properly diagnosed. I felt too embarrassed to tell people the reason why I couldn't get out of bed was from anxiety and depression... Soooo many people with chronic illnesses have been labled wrong in this way and it's time this stops! Another reason for my silence has to do with the fact that I don't really like to talk about it because I can easily cry, and there is just so much to explain, and alot people just don't understand a chronic illness.

Anyway, I think this post is really sweet and I want to share it with all of you.

MY SISTER:

I would like to share with you another story. This story involves a person who is very dear to my heart. She has experienced much adversity in her short life. It would take me hours to explain all that she has been through, so I will give you a very "brief" description.

First, I would like to tell you a little bit about my sister. She is truly one of a kind, a very unique individual. She is very passionate in anything she does. If three words could describe her they would be loyal, kind-hearted, and determined. As a child she was extremely goofy, entertaining, and full of life. She has a great number of talents! She took violin lessons for several years and became quite good. She taught herself to play the piano and continues to amaze me with her musical talents everyday. She is an incredible artist. She often paints murals for people around town, and is currently illustrating a book for a young woman. My sister is an unbelievable dancer, but never would admit to it. I often turn up the music and tell her to "break it down" for me (she looks at me like I am crazy). Don't let her fool you, ha! She took ballet for several years from a world renowned ballet instructor, who taught the advanced levels at Joffrey Ballet School in NYC. The list could go on and on...

Her painful journey began at an early age. At eight years old she was diagnosed with mono, and after that was never the same. Her life has been a constant struggle. At the age of 15 she became very ill and her body sort of crashed. Doctors could not figure out what was wrong with her. She was misdiagnosed countless times with things like, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, stress headaches, etc. After many doctors appointments and hospital visits, she was finally properly diagnosed four years later with celiac disease, which damaged her autonaumic nervous system. As a result of the damage she developed something called postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS). It's a form of dysautonomia. If doctors had properly diagnosed her in the beginning it might have saved her from a tremendous amount of pain and suffering. Some of her symptoms include tachycardia, shortness of breath, nausea, presyncope, low blood pressure, insomnia, lightheadedness, migranes, exercise intolerance, neurological problems such as light and sound sensitivity, and her body does not adjust to gravity properly upon standing. She is on her road to recovery and making very good progress. Most patients with POTS are hospitalized or wheelchair bound.

Ashleigh, you are truly an inspiration and I admire your great faith and determination. I hope that one day you are free of your struggles and can start "living" again. I love you and I am so proud to be your sister!

Don't you just love the big bows!?;)

My Background??

2011-02-09T07:57:00.000-08:00

I was so disappointed when I checked my blog this morning and saw my background was no longer there! I really liked that background, but now I guess I have to be on the hunt for a new one:( Does anyone have any good suggestions??

I guess this background will have to do for now...

Encouraging Video!!

2011-02-06T15:39:00.000-08:00

I was having a rough night the other night when I "happened" upon this very inspirational video. I'm currently in the process of making and editing videos of my own that will soon be on Youtube for the chronically ill. I know how incredibly important it is for the sufferer to have HOPE in their storm!<3

Lifehouse: Good vs. Evil skit

2011-02-03T20:16:00.000-08:00

A friend sent me this in my email and and I thought this was really cool so I wanted to share it with all of you. This is another great example of how God takes the broken and makes them into something beautiful, 2Cor 5:17. It also shows how hard a Christian must fight to resist the temptations of this world. Enjoy!

The Life Of Susanna Wesley

2011-02-02T11:37:00.000-08:00

I used to have a distorted view of women from eras long ago. I saw them as frail, pale, and afraid to get dirt on their fancy dresses. Ha! When your school text book is filled with pop culture icons like Madonna, and all you know about Betsy Ross is her mad flag sewing skills, it's very hard to glean any Biblical wisdom.

Susanna Wesley's biography drastically changed my opinion of women, and I'm very thankful to God for her testimony. I can't remember all I read from her biography, being that it was years ago when I read it, but I know this woman stayed so strong in faith as she faced some unimaginable trials in her life.

Her household was constantly stricken with illness, and about half her children died at very young ages. Their house burned down a few times as well. When her husband up and left her for a while, she remained faithful to bringing her children up in the training and admonition of the Lord, Eph 6:4, and without a formal education. Not only was she bombarded with an aray of responsibilities, she somehow managed to hold Bible studies in her home as well.

What a courageous woman!

What amazes me most about Susanna was her patient commitment to instilling in her children a Godly heritage. She didn't know it at the time, but she was raising a child that would one day grow up to be a great man of faith, John Wesley.

With libraries ridding classical and important books of old, I believe it is so vital for us to not only preserve these stories, but to pass them on to our children as well. We as young Christians need Godly role models in our lives. Godly men and women who have gone before us on this narrow journey, who have much wisdom to impart. I encourage you to learn more about these amazing heroes of faith!

"Help me, Lord, to remember that religion is not to be confined to the
church... nor exercised only in prayer and meditation, but that
every where I am in Thy Presence," -Susanna Wesley

Susanna Wesley was very humble-
"I am content to fill a little space if God be glorified."

Meet Me On Monday!

2011-01-31T19:16:00.000-08:00

I don't know why, but it's fun to answer random questions!:)

1. What do you put on your hot dog? I don't eat hot dogs...

2. Do you play Sudoku? Love Sudoku!

3. What is your favorite vegetable? Carrots

4. Do you color your hair? Yes, but not often

5. What is your favorite brand of clothing? does consignment shops count?

Pray To The ONE Who Allows Suffering?

2011-01-28T10:56:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I find it kind of strange that I pray to a God who allows suffering. Obviously, suffering happens as a result of the curse, but then there is God ordained sanctification through suffering. On this journey, I've learned that you don't have to be a Christian for suffering to change you. If you have suffered, you are different! I've seen non-Christians who have suffered that are more humbled by it, and more compassionate, and willing to give a helping hand to those that are hurting, because they know how it feels. I've seen Atheists who have more "Christian character" than those who claim to believe in God!

Through suffering however, God uses it to not only change us, but to teach us more about Him and His ways and make us more like Christ. I have to say, I'm really thankful for suffering because by God using it as a spiritual tool in my life, it has made me who I am today. It has given me a deeper perspective on life, and a better understanding of how fragile and short life is, and that we could all use more compassion on this journey.

Although I'm thankful, If I'm being honest, I would really like to get off of this path of physical health problems and move on to another season in my life. I mean, who wouldn't?? Imagine if you had a headache every single day for years! After a while, you would want it to go away. No one ever says, "YAY! I have a headache again today!!":)

"He crowns the year with His goodness." Psalm 65:11

Through suffering, I have a much deeper relationship with Christ, and faith that He has a hope and future for me. Jer 29:11. Even with faith, a close relationship, and faith in His Word, I'm not guaranteed that Psalm 65:11 will apply to my year. Do I trust Him to crown MY year with goodness?? Each year, I look back and think, how did I make it through this past year? God always has and always will help me, I have no doubt about that, but I do doubt that my year will be crowned with ALL goodness. I know that in my short twenty one years on this earth, I've never had a completely AMAZING year. Does such a year even exist? Such a year doesn't exist because such a day doesn't either. If you can't have an amazing, perfect day every day, then how will you ever have that perfect year of complete goodness? However, even through trials, I've seen alot of good things come out of each year in my life. Good that can only come from God! And when you have suffered for a long time, any good that comes in your life is truly a GREAT gift from God!

I think alot of us on this chronically ill journey have had our moments of bitterness. Moments where we cringe when someone recites another "encouraging verse" to us. Moments when people say everything WILL get better, and you think, "How do you know??" This isn't being pessimistic (although a chronic illness doesn't always help), and it isn't a lack of faith. It's the reality of the emotional rollercoaster you can't get off of no matter how hard you try!!

Have you ever felt so much despair and desperation and you cry out to God, but He doesn't relieve you of your pain? Why is this? Why would a loving God watch his children wallow in suffering year after year. Has He forgotten about us? Has He forgotten to come back for us? Has He forgotten about our needs? If He cares for the tiny little sparrow wouldn't He care for His own children?

I'm convinced that having a chronic illlness is up there on the scale of one the worst forms of suffering. You don't get a break from it. It makes everything seemingly easy in life, rediculously hard. Not only has your health been taken away, but your social life, your freedom to go and do as you please, and much, much more. It causes you to dwell more on death (probably because you feel like death 24/7), than the life that plays out in front of you, the life you desperately wish you could join in on. You have this illness that doesn't go away, and it is scary, then you add on the normal sufferings of this life, like broken homes, death, the little inconveinces that happen daily, ect.

There comes a time when you want to break free from it all. Free from problems, free from God's seemingly harsh gaze, and you desperately want to hide from it. I know, because I've been there, and I still have my moments. We all do!

This post isn't meant to be pessimistic. I've read alot of people's blogs who are suffering, and they always have such great encouragement. I hope my blog can do the same, however, I also want to be completely real here. There are a TON of things I do not mention on my blog about my personal life or my daily struggles. Those things are not always neccessary, but I do think it's important to be real about suffering, because we all go through it, and we don't just need encouragement, we need understanding. We need people to know they are not alone in their battle even if they feel like it!

"God is great, but sometimes life ain't good. When I pray, it doesn't always turn out like I think it should, but I do it anyway!"

I'm not a country music fan,LOL, but I do like this song. I definitely believe in the power of prayer, but I still have to ask, "Why pray?" I honestly don't have the answer to why we as Christians continue to pray when God doesn't always relieve us from our pain.

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.

Psalm 88
LORD, you are the God who saves me;
day and night I cry out to you.
2 May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry.

3 I am overwhelmed with troubles
and my life draws near to death.
4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
I am like one without strength.
5 I am set apart with the dead,
like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more,
who are cut off from your care.

6 You have put me in the lowest pit,
in the darkest depths.
7 Your wrath lies heavily on me;
you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.[d]
8 You have taken from me my closest friends
and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape;
9 my eyes are dim with grief.

I call to you, LORD, every day;
I spread out my hands to you.
10 Do you show your wonders to the dead?
Do their spirits rise up and praise you?
11 Is your love declared in the grave,
your faithfulness in Destruction[e]?
12 Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,
or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?

13 But I cry to you for help, LORD;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
14 Why, LORD, do you reject me
and hide your face from me?

15 From my youth I have suffered and been close to death;
I have borne your terrors and am in despair.
16 Your wrath has swept over me;
your terrors have destroyed me.
17 All day long they surround me like a flood;
they have completely engulfed me.
18 You have taken from me friend and neighbor—
darkness is my closest friend.

Psalm 18:6 In my distress I called upon the Lord;
to my God I cried for help.
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.

My small theory: If you look at a leaf and examine the small details in it, you realize that God has carefully made everything in perfect detail, down to the tiniest atom. If He cares for a leaf, or a sparrow, then I know He cares for His own children that He created for a special purpose. I believe all of our lives are a story written by God. Our lives and what we suffer somehow impact each other and the church, which impacts all of history, and in turn, we all take part in the preparation of the world to come! It's alot to wrap your mind around isn't it? It's easy to get caught up in our daily lives and forget the bigger picture here. 2 Cor 4:17.

I wish I could tell you, whoever you are, that this season will not last forever even if you feel like it. I do believe to everything there is a season (Ecl 3:1), but these seasons feel more like forever don't they?

"Do not grow weary while doing good, for in due season you shall reap if you do not lose heart!" Gal 6:9

It's very easy to lose heart when you suffer for so long and pray so hard, but seem to get no help or answers. Please, you who are broken and weary, don't lose heart. Please do not lose your smile. Please keep fighting the good fight!<3

My Rotation Diet

2011-01-24T18:48:00.001-08:00

I've learned that if you have a chronic illness, then you most likely have food sensitivities as well, because our systems just get completely out of wack! I have major food sensitivity issues because I have Celiac Disease and POTS. When I first met my herbologist, he tested me on many different foods, and I left with a very limited choice of foods. Now that my body is healing, I'm able to eat MUCH more than I used to!

I currently cannot eat gluten (for the rest of my life, obviously), dairy, tapioca (which is in like everyone gluten free bread out there!), almonds, corn, millet (also in most gluten free breads), and I think that's it!

I became intolerant to tapioca, millet, and almonds, because I ate them almost every day, and being intolerant to dairy is actually very common if you have Celiac Disease. Still not sure how I'm intolerant to corn being that I hate corn! Over time, if I abstain from these foods for a while, I might be able to slowly incorporate them back into my diet. YAY!:)

I knew I was sensitive to tapioca before my herbologist tested me because whenever I ate it, my head would feel SOOO weird and I even had trouble forming sentences! WEIRD!

Because of my sensitivity issues, I have started rotating my food. This means that I do not eat the same foods within a 3-4 day period.

Here is an example of how I do a rotation diet:

MONDAY-

*Breakfast- cream of buckwheat, pecans, and blueberries

*Lunch- Leftovers (homemade fish patty, gluten free pasta, steamed cabbage)

*Dinner- Roast, sweet potato fries with sea salt, and a salad with homemade avocado dressing. Yum!

*Snack- Rice cake with organic peanut butter, and raisins

TUESDAY-

*Breakfast- organic scrambled egg (straight from a friend's farm), and fruit

*Lunch- Leftovers or make a roast sandwich

*Dinner- homemade kale soup

*Snack- Sardines (for omega 3s) on gluten free/tapioca free crackers

WEDNESDAY-

*Breakfast- Quinoa with cinnamon, raisins, and raw honey, and turkey bacon

*Lunch- Chicken salad sandwich w/ a glass of carrot juice, or leftovers

*Dinner- Gluten free spaghetti with homemade meatballs and a salad

*Snack- fruit, kettle chips, cashews

THURSDAY-

*Breakfast- Oatmeal, walnuts, and fruit

*Lunch- Chicken, black bean, Quinoa salad w/ homemade honey dijon dressing. (I used to put the chicken and black beans on a tortilla, but I can't find one that is gluten AND tapioca free)!

*Dinner- Fish, roasted asparagus & zuchini, and mashed potatos

*Snack- carrot sticks dipped in homemade hummus

FRIDAY-

*Breakfast- organic scrambled eggs & fruit

*Lunch- Turkey & alfalfa sprout sandwich w/ a glass of carrot juice

*Dinner- Gluten free/ Casin free Pizza! and salad :)

*Snack- Chips dipped in a homemade black bean & avocado dip, or Kettle chips, or pretzels. Whatever I feel like eating at the moment:)

Now- start over with the food, but change it around a bit, and also use different dinner menu ideas.

As the seasons change, I like to incorporate pancakes with chia seeds & raw honey, and blue berry smoothies with tai coconut milk. I hope to learn how to make pumpkin waffles this year too. That sounds so good!

Alot of people, when going gluten free, make the mistake of eating too much of the processed gluten free foods out there. I know, because I made that mistake! Just because it says "gluten free," does not make it healthy. If you have to go gluten free for health reasons, then I would suggest eating as organic and homemade as possible, because your body needs foods that are healing, especially if you have digestive issues.

A side note:

I've learned that when doing this diet, it's important to rotate your proteins, like nuts. I ate almonds and almond butter ALL the time, therefore, I became intolerant to them:( I've learned my lesson, so now, sticking to this rotation diet is not only my New Year's Resolution, but a neccessity for me, because I'm rediculously sensitive to EVERYTHING!!

Modesty is Just Part of The Journey...

2011-01-23T16:23:00.001-08:00

I know that God has alot of us young ladies on a deep sanctification journey, which pretty much sums up most of the Christian life!:) Sometimes our moments of santification are more extreme (for lack of a better word), than other times. I've learned that when you haven't really been raised with convictions or alot of Biblical knowledge, often times, we can get confused on this narrow road of learning. Alot of us have had to seek more biblical knowledge through books, a church family, or through the internet, and I don't know about you, but along the way, I have had moments of major confusion and ALOT of questions.

Along my journey, I stumbled across Bible verses pertaining to modesty, which sparked my interest to learn more (1 Timothy 2:9, Duet 22:5). I began reading books, articles, and spent much time in prayer. As time went by, I felt the Lord leading my heart in the way of a big wardrobe change, but instead of getting a bunch of new clothes, I learned alot of important and insightful information about the Christian way of life. I tried to spend alot of time on my wardrobe, but was too sick to put any effort into it. Things have changed quite a bit in my life, especially in the last year, and I'm no longer as passionate about changing my wardrobe (although modesty is still a conviction of mine), for many reasons, and I believe I know why. I'll try and explain...

Sometimes God gives us moments of passion about certain topics pertaining to the Bible to teach us and sanctify us. When I was practically bed ridden, God gave me pretty much an obsession to memorize scripture. For some reason, I knew that I wasn't going to be very ill much longer, and I would never get that time back. I had a hard time memorizing because I couldn't concentrate well and I kept falling asleep, but that passion wouldn't die, and in less than a year, I memorized over 150 bible verses.

I no longer have that passion to memorize, although I still want to continue learning for as long as I live. I know it was God who gave me that extreme drive to learn those verses because now they are ingrained in my head, and most importantly, ingraved on my heart. I'm not sure why God wanted me to memorize so many verses in such a short time, but I'm so happy that I know scripture to back up my beliefs, which is so important for every Christian.

Anyway, this past year, I haven't put that much time into my wardrobe. My focus and time has been elsewhere. I've mainly worn jeans and a t-shirt this year, because I just haven't had the time to shop let alone put nice outfits together. My focus has been surviving each day, so wardrobe fails in comparision to daily issues I've had to deal with. Matt 6:25 says, "Therefore do not worry about your clothes, or what you will put on..." That's easier said than done, because our society is practically obsessed with wardrobe. How many stores do you know that carry just clothes? ALOT!! How many articles of clothing do you own? I'm sure alot as well.

For a long while, I worried about my wardrobe, and worried that I wasn't dressing how a Christian should dress. That "worry" caused me to examine my life, my wardrobe, and search scripture. God doesn't give us persistant thoughts like that for no reason. He was teaching me alot during that season of my life, and I'm so grateful for it. I just wish I would not have stressed so much!

This journey has been very eye opening for me, and has given me a better understanding and respect for how many Christians choose to dress and live out their beliefs. I've found that some women feel more protected dressing very modestly, and I feel this way as well. Alot of these women, especially the one's who have had very bad upbringings, been abused by men, or felt unprotected, just want peace and protection in their lives. Some feel God leading them in the way of only wearing skirts to be a testimony to others. Some want to be set apart from the culture, while others just enjoy dressing old fashion and more lady like, or all the above!

Through this journey, I've grown so much and I've learned alot about myself, and what I like to wear. I love a good pair of modest jeans with flip flops, and also love to dress up in a skirt/dress. I don't like loud colors, because I enjoy wearing more earthy tones. I'm still not a huge fan of jewelry, but I like wearing earings. Wearing a pair of jeans or skirt doesn't change Christ in me or my beliefs. I know, because of Him, I am forever changed, and I don't need clothes to tell me that, but at one time, I felt like I did!

I know girls who have felt pressured to dress modestly because other Christians have made them feel guilty. We shouldn't dress a certain way out of guilt, but out of conviction. We are the body of Christ, and we are all created for different purposes. Since we are all unique creations, our personal style will be different as well, and that's ok. Just like everything else in life, your wardrobe will change just as you grow, change, and mature as a Christian.

If you are just learning about Biblical modesty, please don't feel stressed or in a hurry to drastically change your wardrobe, unless you are able to and ready for it. If your heart feels conflicted because your family may not or doesn't agree with it, then just stick to praying. God will reveal His plan and purpose for you in His perfect timing. Take the conviction you feel from God, and welcome it as an amazing learning experience!

If you have any questions about modesty, feel free to ask, because I've know what it's like. I've been on this journey for awhile, but yet, I know there is definitely room for improvement, growth, and maturity in my own walk with the Lord!

Hope everyone is doing well!<3

But You Don't Look Sick!

2011-01-16T20:08:00.000-08:00

I think chronic illnesses are highly misunderstood. Looking at me, you'd think I was the picture of health! I'm young, and can put makeup on to hide my pale face and dark circles, and I can smile through intense suffering, because I've had years of practice. You'd be very surprised with how many people suffering from invisible chronic illnesses look perfectly fine under aweful situations. I learned how to smile through fibromyalgia, headaches, pre-syncope, chronic fatigue syndrome, feeling very ill, ect, and the last thing I wanted to do was smile. I would often pray for God to help me smile, because at times, it was incredibly hard!

I think most people, at one time in their life, whether chronically ill or not, have fakely smiled through suffering. Why is this? Why should we hide our pain? Is it pride? Is it not exceptable to be honest? Usually when people ask me how I'm doing, I always respond with a simple "good"! I mean, what am I supposed to say, I feel like death!? Yeah, I think that would make the situation AWKWARD!

I have seen alot of people with chronic illnesses and everyone of them are extraordinary with beautiful smiles, kind, sincere hearts that are always full of hope in a seemingly hopeless situation. Most of them look perfectly healty.

I've learned that being sick but not looking sick has caused people to question my situation. Through being sick but not looking sick, I've learned the strong lesson of never judging someone else's outward appearance.

Have you ever people watched in the mall? When I was younger, after a long shopping day, me and my friends would grab a snack, sit on a bench, and people watch. There were times when I was probably rude, or laughed at someone's appearance. In Stephanie Tanner's words, "How rude!?" How could I do something so low?! If you are being honest with yourself, most likely you've had your moments of judgement as well!

"Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye!" Matt 7:3

I think alot of us don't judge people on purpose, but sometimes those sinful little thoughts will just pop right into our minds. After spending years of suffering, whenever I'm in a store and happen to look at the stranger next to me, I often wonder, what have they gone through in their life? Are they deeply suffering right now?

There are alot of people out there right now who are greatly suffering in silence, and I used to be one of those people. So now, I'm going to take a moment and be honest with you all because honesty is the best policy.

If I'm being honest, I'm not doing good. I'm doing okay as of this minute, but the next I could be good, or very bad. My days are still so unpredictable and I always have atleast one very bad moment out of each day, whether a good day or not! It's not fun!

I put in a previous post that I am getting better from my chronic illness, and am noticing good progress on my road to recovery, but the key word here is recovery, not recovered.

It can take 2-3 years to recover from POTS, or so doctors say but I don't fully buy it. I don't think they fully understand this condition which is why it can take so long to get diagnosed. It can also take 2-5 years for someone's intestines to heal from the damage done by Celiac disease.

There is no timeline and no guarantee that I will ever be healthy and right now, I'm not considered a healthy person. I would say that now I'm considered a high functioning chronically ill patient (if such a thing exists!). I struggle pretty much all day, but I'm able to do alot in a day even with feeling bad. Also, I'm getting moments in my day where I feel completely fine and healthy. It's not every day, and doesn't last as long as I would like, but I have to say, those few moments are like heaven on earth!!! There is nothing like getting a break from suffering!!

It's truly hard to explain my symptoms and my days to the average person. How do I desribe "feeling bad" to you? Before I got sick, I had my bad days like everyone does, but I still fucntioned pretty normally. Now, "bad days" don't just feel bad, they feel unexplainable and scary. How do I explain a disregulated autonomic nervous system? All I know to say is, my body just constantly feels like something is wrong and something doesn't work right, and it doesn't!

My parent's often get frustrated with me when they ask how I feel, and I'm lying on my bed, can hardly talk, and I just say, "I feel weird!"

Oh what I would give to have someone walk a day in my shoes! You can never truly know what a person is going through, because you aren't them, so that should make us have more sympathy for others, right? We should realize that life is hard, and we all have our share of sufferings! Everyone needs a hug, a kind word, a caring gesture.

So, remember, next time someone seems like everything is fine, it really might not be!

Meet Me On Monday!

2011-01-15T10:01:00.000-08:00

My friend Teresa from "Too Many Heartbeats"(http://toomanyheartbeats.blogspot.com/)is participating in "Meet Me On Monday!" When I read this idea, I decided to participate as well. It seems like alot of fun!

It's true that people post about their personal lives, but the reality is, you can't fully know someone through the blogging world. There is just so much depth to each of our lives.

I've decided to participate in "Meet Me On Monday", because I thought you might like to get to know me a little bit better. If you would like to join in on the fun, feel free to meet us on Monday, because I'd love to get to know you better!:)

Here is the link to the "Meet Me On Monday" questions: http://nevergrowingold.blogspot.com/

Five random facts you may not know about me...

1. Have you (only you..not a group) ever won first place in anything?
I've won first place in a couple art contests when I was younger.

2. Are your toes always painted (sorry guys...this question for girls only)?
Not always, but I like to wear deep colors on my toes.

3. What color eyes do you have?
Green-ish

4. Look to your left....what do you see?
My camera, my bible, and my salt tablets.

5. Soft cookies or crunchy cookies?
Enjoy Life chewy/soft chocolate chip cookies that are gluten and dairy free.

Art For The Generations To Come!

2011-01-08T19:28:00.000-08:00

The Lord has given me a greater understanding of how Christianity should be viewed from a multigenerational perspective. My mind constantly thinks in multi-generational terms, which I believe makes life more exciting! Lately, I've been thinking about how everything I do in my life, will some how affect the souls that have yet to arrive. What will I leave behind? Hopefully, I will leave a Godly heritage, a joy for the Christian life, a love of family, a hope, natural & healthy living, a blessed future, and inspirational art, whether that be through music, painting, or writing, ect. which are all gifts from God!

I'm currently writing in my fourth journal and do it atleast every other day. My journals are full of deep thoughts, immature thoughts, sad stories, funny stories, trials, triumphs, random thoughts, sanctification, and hope! Writing is so personal and healing for me. Whenever I write, I imagine one day, let's say, a great-grandaughter of mine being inspired by my thoughts and uplifted spirtiually by God's faithfullness in how He wrote the story of my life. What an amazing, uncomprehendable thought that is!!

Painting, like writing, has been healing for me as well. I began painting when I first became really sick. Sometimes I feel weird showing a painting of mine to another, because painting is so personal to me and something accumulated in a very dark time. Now that I'm healing, I feel that my paintings are getting much better, atleast I hope!:)

I'm currently painting a picture that when first looking at it, one could see some Christian references in it, but if decoded, it goes much deeper than that. Soon, I'd like to finish this painting, in hopes that one day it will hang in my own living room. I pray this painting survives me and hangs in the living room of those to come, in hopes that it will bring forth inspiration, encouragement, hope, and Truth!

Like writing and painting, music has been another tool used by God to help me heal, and what a gift it is!! Imagine life without music!! How horrible would that be??

Music is very healing and can make the soul feel joy and peace, which is why I want to bring more music into my home for my family to enjoy.

Whenever I think of a musical family, the Von Trapps always comes to mind. I love "The Sound of Music," and could watch it over and over again! What I love most about this movie, is how music brings the family closer together. It brings so much joy into their sullen lives.

I'm definitely a music lover and have played a few instruments in the past such as violin, flute, and piano. Much to my mother's, and now my dismay, I didn't stick with violin or flute. A few years after I quit playing those instruments, I got really sick, and then a huge desire to play music came back to me again. Throughout these past years, I've slowly been teaching myself how to play the piano. When my fibromyalgia was really bad, I couldn't play much at all, so instead, I just memorized notes and keys.

Learning to play the piano has been a very slow go, but I have patiently stuck with it and not given up. One reason I kept practicing piano, was to put my focus on notes and not on the daily pain I felt during that really tough time in my life. Even though I wasn't able to sit very long at the piano, it still brought me joy to play. It was a small way for me to escape from my suffering.

About two years ago, God gave me another reason and passion to stick with the piano. He gave me the desire to learn hymns in the hope that one day, I might be able to play them during family devotions and worship time. I'm currently learning about fifteen hymns right now. It's a slow go with alot of sharps and flats, but I'm getting there.

In a previous post, I shared a tiny bit about what I desire in a future husband. Most of what I listed are definite criterias, but I also have a list of personal preferences. One particular preference being, that I desire my husband to love music so much that he makes it a big part of our lives and brings it into family worship! There is just something about music that has a way of bringing people together. Sometimes I wish life was one big musical!:)

With that said...What piece of "you" would you like to instill in others that will carry on for decades, or until long after you are gone?

I Almost Forget!!...And The Winner is......

2011-01-06T08:22:00.001-08:00

Wow, with the busy holiday season, I almost forgot to announce the winner of my little heart box!LOL!

The winner is.......my lovely friend Elizabeth from "A Sailing Journey."

Whenever you get the chance, please email me your address, so that I can hopefully ship it to you soon. Hope you enjoy as much as I enjoyed painting it!

Life Just Isn't What I Expected it to be...

2011-01-02T18:05:00.001-08:00

Is life ever what we expected it to be? We grow up believing one thing, then, as we get older, our views about the world change entirely, and we find that life just isn't what we asked for...

I assume most people would like a simple life, good health, good job, family, nice house, decent pay check, and then die peacefully in their sleep. Obviously we don't want problems along our journey, but they constantly seem to find their way into our everyday lives. There are obstacles that just can't be avoided no matter how hard we try to steer clear of them, because we live in a fallen world.

We all have plans for our lives, but do they ever go exactly how we want them to? I got to a point in my life where I thought, if I just think about the opposite of what I would like out of life, maybe I'll get exactly what I want one day!

"May He grant you according to your heart's desire and fulfill all your purpose!"Psalm 20:4

Sometimes life can get really hard & confusing, and I've learned the only way to make sense of our current circumstances is to keep our minds on Christ and His word, because He is a God of order and His word never changes even if life does. Hebrews 13:8, Matt 24:35

So here I am, entering into the year 2011 (had a wonderful New Year by the way), and I find myself somewhat anxious about the future. Corrie ten Boom once said, "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to an all knowing God." Easier said than done, right?

The last few years have been pretty trialing for me, so it's understandable that I'm not so excited for 2011. I've been leary about making a new year's resolution because I don't want to set myself up for failure, which pretty much happens every year. Most of my New Year's resolutions consisted of getting into shape and recovering completely from health problems. Try as I might, I still have yet to fully reach those goals, and it's not because I'm lazy, it's because God is the director of my path. Prov 16:9.

It wasn't in my plan to still be sick at twenty one years old, but it was God's plan and I have no idea why! Do we ever fully understand why God does the things He does?
I sure haven't figured it out, but the unknown has mysteriously strengthened my faith and suffering has changed me in every way. At twenty one, I should probably have an emotional breakdown realizing that it's been almost five years (even though my problems really begin at 8 years old), and I'm still sick. The thought of turning 22 scares me even more because I went from being a normal 15 year old, to very sick for many years, to all of the sudden, an adult!! Where did the time go!??!

Time is precious, and we can never get it back. So for the New Year, I plan to redeem the time more than I ever have. Last year, I was in survival mode, trying to re-learn how to live life again, physically make it through each day, learn to care for a home, doing many painting projects for people, being rediculously overwhelmed in the process, and helping out my currently disabled sister. I didn't have time to breath this year, but I'm thankful!! This year was neccessary in helping me recover more physically and emotionally from a chronic illness. I'm thankful beyond words that I was up and about, constantly doing something besides lying in bed. It brought about many new changes. Changes I've been praying and waiting for, for many years!

So here is my New Year's resolution-

*Apply "organic living" to my everyday life, so that it becomes a more peaceful, God ordained way of living and not a learning process of overwhelmingness! By the way, as time goes by and I gain more knowledge, it is becoming easier.

*Yoga, and cautiously begin jogging.

*Spend alot of time outdoors, particulary the beach, to make up for lost time, and for healing purposes. Also, kayak more!

*Plant a summer garden.

*Stay on top of cooking and eating healthy, which can be a task!

*Make up for lost time with friends.

*Enjoy the new year and bask in God's peace and promises.

It's not a big list (I have many more goals in mind that are much bigger), but these are the most important to me right now. It may seem easy to accopmlish all of these goals or rather, stay on top of them, but when you deal with daily health problems, plans NEVER go as expected!

So, I have two choices this year: I can either fear the unknown, which I have a bit of a habit of and it does no good at all, or I can plan and pray my way through 2011, asking God for His tender mercies, strength, and love upon my life. If there is one thing I can count on above all else, is that some how, some way, God will help me through this year. Lord, I commit this list and new year to you!

Happy New Year to all of my few, but lovely readers!! What is your New Year's Resolution??

Sick on Top of Sick!

2010-12-27T12:52:00.001-08:00

Have you ever been sick on top of sick? Well, if you have, then you know that it is not fun at all, and often times, scary!

For years, I caught every cold in sight. I pretty much lived with a cold, and had a chronic cough for years. Whenever I got sick, it often took me longer than the average person to recover.

This year, I've done pretty well in steering clear of your average cold, but a couple days ago, I started coming down with something; sore throat, congestion, and just not feeling well.

When I was little, getting sick never phased me. I'd just stay in my pj's all day, watch tv, and eat saltine crackers:) However, when a cold hits me now, I stress out!

POTS causes my body to constantly be under alot of stress, so when sickness hits me, it reeks havoc upon my system. My heart rate is rediculously high and I get migranes, shortness of breath worsens, nausea, and my body just feels unexplainably weird!!

Even with these symptoms, I must say, I'm really happy with how my body is learning to recover more quickly from sickness. There really is improvement taking place in my body, it's just a slow go.

So, what does one do for sickness, who can't handle over the counter medicine? First of all, pray! God is always strength in our weaknesses. 2 Cor 12:9. Then, eat soup with organic bone broth for nourishment. Bone broth has great minerals for your adrenal glands. Juice carrot, apple, ginger, and garlic together and drink up. YUM!:) Ginger is great for nausea! For congestion, add a pinch of cayenne pepper to your drink. This stuff is potent, but it works! The carrot juice is really not that bad, and I only use a sliver of garlic and ginger with alot of apple for a sweeter taste. I've even heard that honey over an onion is good too, but that just sounds aweful, especially when nauseated!

I want to mention that people with POTS/Dysautonomia need to be careful with garlic because it lowers blood pressure. I did monitor my blood pressure before and after drinking the juice, and it only went slightly lower.

For sore throat, I gargle with colloidal silver. My mom used to give us echinacea but now we use colloidal silver. I also gargle with organic sea salt in hot water.

I really hope this sick bug doesn't set me back too much!

Anyway, what do you do for sickness?

Highly Recommened Book For Those With Chronic Illnesses

2010-12-24T07:57:00.001-08:00

I just finished reading a fantastic book called "The Maker's Diet." The book, by Jordan Rubin, chronicles his journey through immense suffering from a supposedly incurable chronic illness at the young age of 20. Along his journey, he discovered a new, biblical way of eating and living which solely contributed to his complete recovery from a SEVERE, almost deadly case of Chrohn's Disease.

One fascinating section in the book talks about a doctor who traveled all around the world to various tribes to study their eating habits and lifestyle. He discovered in those indigenous tribes that cancer, diabetes, heart disease, ect. were not present among the people. He then put some of the tribal members on the standard American diet (SAD), which unfortunately caused some of them to get cancer!

I've been thinking alot about chronic illness and what kind of food we put into our bodies. Our Creator designed a beautiful system, providing us help and healing through nutritious, REAl food! Someone recently said to me that a person can eat the SAD and be perfectly healthy, and I agreed to an extent. Those that make it through this life unscathed from illness are very fortunate and RARE! How many people get colds each year and how often? How many people do you know who have had heart attacks, cancer, diabetes, ect? Have we ignorantly excepted this to be the norm in our culture?!

Most of us get sick each year for a short time, then we get better and back to our old selves, but not always . For some reason alot of us go through this life expecting to be fine, atleast until we reach sixty or so years old, which is normal to have problems then, right? What if we don't make it until sixty? What if, like me, we get really sick at a young age? I have to wonder, if we have been raised to eat the standard American diet, are our bodies prepared to fight chronic illnesses or cancer? With healthy eating habits, could we prevent some of these problems that are so prevelant in our society?

Why is it that so many of our store bought products contain high fructose corn syrup when everyone knows that cancer feeds on sugar?! Man must think they are smarter than the Creator with their money making invention of processed, chemicals for food!I know that some people, after they get diagnosed with cancer, will immediately begin eating healty, which has proven to really help, but what if we don't wait until we get diagnosed. What if we start from the beginning!

I may seem too extreme or passionate about healthy eating but that is because the SAD (Standard American Diet) almost ruined my life, and God's beautifully designed system of nourisment through real food is helping me heal!

Anyway, I greatly encourage EVERYONE to read "The Maker's Diet!!"
It is a biblically based diet that is also scientifically proven to be very helpful. I don't follow the complete diet, mainly because I'm still not sure about fermenting my own food, still learning about probiotics, and it is expensive! Healthy food should not be expensive, but it is just one of the many things that is so backwards in our society!

I highly reccomed this book and a book called "Nourishing Traditions", because they have so much valuable information in them. Be warned, these books have the potential to be extremely overwhelming. Don't do what I did, and try to learn everything all at once, because you will break down crying!LOL! Just take one thing at a time and try to see it as a hobby and fun learning experience.

Jordan Rubin shares his amazing story!

Creative Christmas Giveaway!

2010-12-15T11:10:00.000-08:00

I hand painted this lovely little heart box in hopes to sell it on my Etsy shop one day. Unfortunately, I'm busy doing commisioned artwork for people, so I don't have enough time to make many of these to sell. Instead of selling this little box, I've decided to give one away!!

The box is hand painted and covered in a protective gloss. It is about 4 1/2 inches in width and 2 1/2 inches tall. Great for storing little notes, jewelry, or just using as a fun decoration.

1) For one entry, just leave me a comment and your name.

2) For two entries, blog about it and add a link to my blog.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season with family and friends!!:)

Suffering Will End One Day!

2010-12-13T20:31:00.000-08:00

A dear friend of mine sent me this video through my email. I love it!! Remember to turn music off at the bottom of this page.

Casein Free (Dairy Free) Update!

2010-12-09T16:59:00.001-08:00

As some of you may have read, I decided to go casein free about a month ago. A few Celiac Disease articles online persuaded me to try it. I rarely read online information concerning Celiac Disease anymore, unless searching for recipes, so I know it was the Lord that led me to read these articles.

After reading that about 60% or more people with Celiac have trouble digesting a protein in milk called casein, I decided to go casein free for one month. The month is not over, but I'm going to stay casein free for much longer, if not the rest of my life!

I was REALLY hoping to not notice any change in my health after going casein free, but unfortunately AND fortunately I did!! Within three days after starting the diet, I noticed a big change!

Before going casein free, after every meal, this heavy, hard to concentrate, almost drugged out feeling stayed in my head for thirty minutes or even up to three hours. I thought this feeling was due to the fact that my heart rate gets alot higher after eating, to digest my food. I assumed that more blood was going to my stomach than to my brain. Within three days of going casein free, the brain fog was almost completely gone!

Before going gluten free, I had permanent "brain fog" (which I believe is a word a dr. uses when not knowing why your head feels that way....), but it was much, much, MUCH worse than a casein free brain fog!! I've read somewhere that gluten and casein can cause a drugged out like affect in a person's head. Since being casein free for about a month, I've had zero problems with brain fog! Also, when I typed in "Casein Free" on Google, all of these Autism sites popped up. Evidentally, doing the GFCF diet is really helping some patients with autism. It can help nuerological and cognitive problems.

Before going gluten free, I had severe fibromyalgia, but now that is completely gone. Since then, every afternoon, my body will kind of ache like the flu (completely different feeling than fibromyalgia, which feels more like arthritis). I assumed my afternoon body aches came from my heart rate being so high all day. Well,
within five days of going casein free, I was almost completely ache free!!

Also, since going casein free, I'm able to exercise for a longer period of time, and my shortness of breath seems slightly better. Weird...I know!

I've been working rediculously hard trying to heal from POTS, and part of me wonders if eating casein (dairy), has hindered me from healing properly. My heart rate is still too high, but with lots of water, salt, healthy/organic eating, juicing, exercise, and time, it is slowly beginning to come down. This is progress!!

Soon, I hope to list GFCF foods I eat for breakfast and lunch. As time goes by, I will randomly post GFCF dinner recipes, which are much more tricky!

These videos might persuade you to go dairy free!lol. I'm not completely against dairy, I just prefere organic/raw(no hormones, preservatives, or killing of good enzymes, ect), vs. store bought.

Hallelujah!!

2010-12-06T19:27:00.002-08:00

This is just so beautiful!

Cursed By The American Diet?

2010-12-01T14:10:00.001-08:00

"By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return."
Genesis 3:19

In our current society, we don't exactly work for our food by the sweat of our brow anymore, because we have factories to do that for us...

Becoming knowledgable about the current state of the average American diet can be frightening. If everything from eggs, meat,vegetables, and fruit are contaminated with chemicals, then what's left to eat???

At one point in my research, I did become fearful and overwhelmed, not knowing where to begin, but that has changed. Now I feel thankful for this knowledge because healthy eating has really helped me heal. God didn't mean for us to pump our bodies full of preservatives, chemicals, hormones, caffiene, energy drinks, processed sugar, ect! My body is so sensitive, that any of these processed foods, sometimes seem to shock my system. Those less sensitive than I, might have to pay for their health later on in life, because alot of these foods, unbeknownst to many, are slowly poisoning us.

One way in which I'm trying to spend my single years wisely, is by learning more about organic food and organic living. I know this knowledge has the potential to be a great asset to my current family, future family, or to anyone I meet on this journey who needs help in this area.

Right now, I'm really gungho about detoxing my life and living more healthy and organic, steering clear of microwaves, processed food, unessecary stress, toxic cleaners, ect. To sum it up, I guess I should use our popular, cultural phrase of, "I'm Going Green!"

When people think of an organic life, the words "Go Green!" or vegan hippies might come to mind.lol. Sometimes I feel like a "Go green, vegan hippie when I walk around a whole foods store drinking a carrot, apple, celery, beet juice...:)

However, when I think of organic living, I think of a life that is forgotten...

A simple life away from toxins, chemicals, rediculous stress of the American life, pollution, unhealthy eating, ect. Less than 100 years ago, organic living was a way of life full of home cooked meals, playing in the fresh air, hobbies that didn't include the word technology, more time spent with family,ect.

I know it's going to be hard for me to become more organic than I already am, because some people in my family do not support me, but that is just because they lack the knowledge when it comes to this topic. Trust me, I do not get my knowlege from the Youtube videos I've posted below, however, they are very thought provoking! Even with my research, I still feel very uneducated when it comes to organic living. There is just SOOO much to learn and so little time! I guess I will just have to extensively study one topic at a time, such as, organic cleaning products, which I'm very familiar with, but have yet to really apply it to my everyday life.

Even if I lack the support of those living in my home or people from our society, I'm holding to my convictions and knowledge and prayfully walking this journey with the help of my Lord, because I strongly feel Him leading me in this area!

In the beginning, God created humans to be free, but now, we are chained by much in this world, including man made chemicals, poisonous food, and toxins.

If anyone has any organic tips or ideas PLEASE pass on this invaluable knowledge. I could really use it!!

Also, please do not let these videos scare you. Instead, welcome them as a learning tool that reveals more secrets to certain corruptions in our society.

I'm a big "Star Wars" fan so I found this HILARIOUS!!

I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS!!!

Very interesting!

creepy

WOW!! Very eye opening! This was such a great movie. I highly recommend it!

This blows my mind!!

Journey Through New Eyes! (Car accident update)

2010-11-27T15:33:00.000-08:00

I'd like to introduce everyone to my sister Caitlin's blog, "Journey Through New Eyes!" http://caitmarie025.blogspot.com/

As some of you may have read, my sister got in a severe car accident this past January. She went through the passenger side window and broke her jaw, ankle, a couple bones in her face, and severly crushed her pelvis. Since then, she's had to suffer every single day for the past year, and her journey through healing is definitely not over...

Some might assume recovering from a pelvic injury would not be so incredibly hard, because people have hip replacements all the time, right?? According to my sister's dr., what she has gone through, is equivalent to a frog in a blender, and pelvic injuries are completely different than hip replacements.

When I watch Caitlin struggle, sometimes I see a bit of my old self in her. She can't do much, and getting out is very hard. Just trying to get ready to go to the store or out to eat is painstakingly hard for her. I've had to watch her go through some extreme withdrawls from pain medicine that has lasted over a course of many months. It's hard and painful for her to walk or sit, because she is always uncomfortable and in pain. She has trouble getting to sleep at night, constantly feels ill from the pain meds, and spends most of her time in bed.

She has nerve damage and pain in her jaw, and the feeling has not, or may never come back. She also has nerve damage in her right leg, no feeling in certain places, and still cannot lift her ankle up, which is vital to walking properly again. What she is going through is kind of like a waiting game of suffering, because the doctors are not sure the damaged nerve in her jaw or leg will ever heal. She may have some kind of nerve pain, joint aches, or arthritis the rest of her life!

This has been a very difficult journey for her, because suffering is hardest when you do it everyday and don't get a break from it. It's crazy how a split second can change the course of your entire life! If you'd like to learn more about my sister's story, you can follow her blog, "JOURNEY THROUGH NEW EYES." I know she would love to hear from you all and she could really use the encouragement as well!

Here is a video she made while lying in bed. I think she did such a great job on this video and I know working on it has helped pass the time for her. Here is the link to her blog:
http://caitmarie025.blogspot.com/

Thankful For A Godly Heritage!

2010-11-25T15:03:00.001-08:00

Every Thanksgiving, my family and I go around the table and say what we are thankful for. I'm thankful for many things this year, like my sister being alive, and me not in the E.R.! This was the first Thanksgiving in almost five years that I've really gotten to enjoy myself. I didn't feel sick today, except for this evening, and had such a great time of fellowship with my family, and enjoyed helping my mom put up Christmas decorations. I've literally been dancing around the house and singing Christmas songs all day today! More singing than dancing ofcourse;)

When I'm having a great day I'm all smiles, dancing and singing, with a joy in my heart that feels like bursting! When you've spent years feeling very ill, a day of relief is almost like a day in heaven. One day, I had such a great day, that I danced around my front yard singing "The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Music!" My neighbors probably thought I was crazy!LOL:) When I'm having a great day, I feel high on life, and today, was a GREAT day!!

Wow, I'm getting way off topic here....

So, this morning, I couldn't get the thought of pilgrims out of my head... To be honest, I know very little about them (but I'm learning), beside the facts I was taught in school to prepare me for a test like, the Mayflower, corn, Indians, yams, feasting, Pocahontas, John Smith, ect...

On my rediculously full reading list, I plan to teach myself, from a Christian perspective, more about the pilgrim's and our nation's Godly heritage. It's Christ-centered, historical pride and enthusiasm I hope to instill in my children one day, Lord willing!

My thought about pilgrims had nothing to do with corn, the Mayflower, hats with buckles on them, ect. Instead, I imagined them feasting, praying, and being thankful to God for His mercies, but also sitting at the table with sad and heavy hearts. I'm sure there were many family members and children who were supposed to be at that table with them, but didn't make it through the year. Can you imagine an awful winter full of sickness, starvation, and the death of many friends and family members?

Going through a pretty tough winter (nothing compared to the pilgrims of course), this past year taught me to lean on God for strength, mercy, and help in ways I never knew before. God truly is a present help in times of trouble, Psalm 46:1.

I'm sure a huge help during the pilgrims trials was the fellowship and encouragement of the saints! Just being around a kindred spirit can truly brighten my day and have me feeling so uplifted in the Holy Spirit!

So, with my somewhat lack of knowledge intact, If I had to take a wild guess here, I'm going to say that America became one nation under God through very intense suffering, and a committment and faithfulness to God's Word!

Our government, congress, political officials, ect, didn't give us a Godly heritage. I believe it all started with father's and mother's who were obedient to God's Word, persevered through uninmaginable trials, and brought up their children in the training and admonition of the Lord, Eph 6:4, knowing that those little souls would effect the course of our nation's history!!

What an amazing and inspiring thought that just about brings tears to my eyes!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and what are you thankful for!?!

Moving On.....Part 2

2010-11-18T13:07:00.000-08:00

Coming out of years of sickness didn't prove to be the joyful and somewhat easy event I would have liked. Not one minute of it has been easy, and although I've had my happy and hopeful moments, tears of overwhelmingness soon followed...

I'd say I'm alot like Eleanor Dashwood from "Sense and Sensibility" in the fact that I hold my emotions in, mind my own business, and let no one around me see my true feelings. I've learned that holding back tears, isn't always the best thing. Tears are a form of release and we should (or atleast I should) never be ashamed to let them flow, for they are not a sign of weakness, but of strength! 2 Cor12:9. After all, didn't Jesus cry!?

This year, however, has put a burden on my once dry tear ducts. One bad thing after another overloads the emotions. Another reason for my tears came from being overwhelmed with all the new things I've had to learn how to do. I'm learning skills I should have gradually attained from years 16-20. However, it seems God hasn't wanted me to follow the world's time table, but His own.

When I wake up each morning, I consider it a day of physical therapy for myself. What I mean, is I am literally teaching myself mentally and physicaly how to function like a normal person again. As time goes by, I feel less and less overwhelmed, especially as my body heals. When I was really bad off, people had to do almost everything for me. I couldn't even fix my own meals at times. I'm finally to the point where I can cook meals for myself and my family which is a huge accomplishment in my opinion! Also, driving is quickly becoming second nature as well:)

When I first started on my road to recovery, I had to take baby steps. First came re-training my body how to hold itself up properly again without it being a great struggle. One way in which I did that was by taking over laundry duty. I remember the first day I sat up to fold clothes, it was so hard and I felt as if I were going to collapse! I had to take breaks in between folding that one basket, but I was determined to get it done!

Then, I had to retrain myself to carry on long conversations without it being so difficult. To help retrain myself in this area, I either read aloud, or practiced singing, which was done in private, because I am a horrible singer!lol. Now I can carry on long conversations pretty well, but I still struggle with getting out of breath. That can be somewhat embarrasing, escpecially if I don't know the person well. I don't want them to think my deep breathing or sighing is a sign that I'm bored of this conversation!Lol.

Next came exercising. For chronic fatigue syndrome or POTS patients, exercising is very important to avoid deconditioning, and boy was I deconditioned! I remember that first day attempting to walk on our treadmill. I put on my running shoes, turned my ipod to Switch Foot's "Dare You to Move," and began to slowly put one foot in front of the other. I felt so faint and weak after only walking, VERY lightly, on 0.5 (NOT even 1), for a few minutes. My body seriously felt like a 90 year old lady on her death bed! It would often take me a couple of hours or more to kind of recover from those few pain stakingly hard minutes. While "recovering," I'd lie in my bed, and my body would tremble and buzz (not sure how to explain that). I'd feel so deathly ill like I needed to go to the ER, but I knew no one would believe me, so instead, I'd just lie there and pray or memorize scripture. As soon as my body felt any relief from that feeling of extreme sickness, I would immediately get up and just do the next thing. Now I am up to 20 or 30 minutes on the treadmill (3.5 and a 5 incline), each day (If I'm feeling well), and I'm up to eighty sit-ups too! Also, I just started adding a few minutes of jogging to my treadmill routine.

Once my body attained a bit of strength, I began making lists of chores and things I needed to get used to doing again. Of course, in the beginning, I couldn't accomplish everything on that list of mine, and I always felt so overwhelmed trying to do so. It took a looong time to accomplish everything on my list and more! My motto became "Just do the next thing." Since I had to learn alot of knew things at once, I not only felt overwhelmed, but became a chronic list maker too. I put post-its everywhere to remind myself to do or how to do something. Finally, living life like a normal person again has started to properly ingrain itself in my brain. Now I don't have to obsessively make lists all the time.

Tears would often come from comparing myself to healthy people my age, which is never helpful! Those were the times when I had to stop and remember, the years I spent sick were the most beneficial (spiritually), God ordained, life changing years of my short life. Nothing with Christ is a waste!

This journey through healing has been an emotional roller coaster in many ways! It is obviously emotionally exhausting to suffer daily, especially when you haven't had a break from it in many, many years. But even in sorrow, I've had many moments where I've cried tears of joy! Joy at the hand of God's love and mercy on my underserving life. Joy to live life in a new way as a new creature in Christ! 2Cor 5:17. Joy to live life healthier. Joy to live my life with purpose for Him!

I never dreamed that at twenty one years old, I'd be trying to recover from two chronic illness, and honestly, I wouldn't trade it for anything! It's been a very hard road to walk (or lie in bed), but I've truly been more blessed by it!

Only one life,
'Twill soon be past,
Only what's done
for Christ will last!

Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount of with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint! Isaiah 40:31

If you have any questions, or ideas on what you'd like to hear from me about my illness, or road to recovery, feel free to ask! Have a great day!:)

Southern Ball and Dancing with POTS!

2010-11-16T08:23:00.000-08:00

Trying to figure out how to do this dance!

Lining up for the Virginia Reel.

Gracie and her beautiful curls!

I tried to find a southern belle dress to wear this year, but I couldn't find one. Alot of the girls at the ball were very talented because they made their own dresses! I wish I had great sewing skills like that!

Raven and a confederate soldier;)

Us with the moms:)

fun with friends.

The girl on the right's dress was my favorite of the night!

If you look closely, you can see me in the very back grabbing my foot. While dancing, I stepped on a sharp pin and it cut my toe, which completely threw me off of dancing in sync!lol

London Bridges falling down...

I titled this post "Dancing with POTS", because if anyone has POTS, then you know how hard it is do to any form of exercising. Last year, I went to the same ball, but I had an even harder time dancing than this year. I was only able to dance three dances and I had pre-syncope (almost faintng) spells while trying to do so! To attend that dance, I had to stay in bed all day, go to the dance, come home, go to bed, and not get out of it all the next day.

This year, I rested a little bit just to make sure I'd be okay, but I was able to have a pretty normal day and spend alot of time helping my sister fix hair. My heart rate was pretty bad that day because I was excited about the dance, but also nervous that I would have a hard time dancing. I was not rediculously excited and nervous, it's just my body still has a hard time processing good or bad stress correctly, no matter how big or small of a deal something is. Any emotion can really get my heart rate going crazy, but that is slowly getting better with time.

Also, this year I was able to dance 7 dances with no pre-syncope episodes!
I think it's important for those living with a chronic illness to not compare yourselves to the average functioning person. Last year, I could barely dance three dances, and this year, I danced seven! While recovering from being sick, I find that it's vital to compare my current abilities to my former disabilities. I cling to the improvements no matter how small, but really, this year dancing was no small feat. I'd say I had to put myself through absolute hell everyday for the past two years to get where I am now, and I'm starting to see my hard work pay off in a big way!

When I got home from the dance and went to bed, I was nervous that I was going to wake up feeling physically ill, and have to "pay" for the night before. For many, many years, I've always had to pay for every fun thing I attempted to do, but now, something has changed in me physically, and I no longer have to pay for things!! I woke up the morning after the ball truly expecting to feel sick, but I felt healthy and had a great day!!Even after seeing the blue angels, I thought I was going to pay for that as well, but didn't!

I still have a ways to go in improving, so I'm holding on tightly to the great success I'm seeing in my health, and I'm clinging to God's Word and trusting Him with all of my steps! Prov 3:5-6

Southern Ball, Part 1

2010-11-14T18:10:00.000-08:00

Getting ready for the ball! My sister is very talented with styling hair!

I know that it was physically hard for my sister to sit in one position for so long, but she did such a great job.

My sister used 55 bobby pins to hold Gracie's curls!

Curls, curls, curls

All of us with my sister, aka beautician:)

My best friend Gracie and I.

We arrived at the ball too early, so we decided to go to Starbucks for awhile and wait. When we arrived at Starbucks, it was closed, so we randomly found this cool fountain and decided to waste time by taking fun pics.

Follow the leader...

I'm a little teapot...

LOL! My mother about died when she saw I was wearing flip flops with my dress. I knew that as soon as I got inside the ballroom, I was just going to take my shoes off anyway!:)

What fun!

To be young and carefree:)

Lovely ladies arriving at the ball.

Stay tuned for the dancing!:)

Ashleigh's Adventure List! #1

2010-11-12T15:50:00.001-08:00

Today, my family and I went out on the boat to watch the blue angels. This was my first trip to see them perform, although I have seen them one other time, practicing over my house! Seeing the blue angels is one out of many things to do on "Ashleigh's Adventure List." In the past, I probably could have done this trip on a good day, but it would have required alot of rest time. I would not have been able to fully enjoy myself, and it would have taken me a day or two to recover.

I wonder if these make good pets...?

Me and my cousin JC. He is probably the funniest kid I know!

After watching the movie "Charlie St. Cloud," I'm dying to ride on a sail boat!!lol

Speeding up!

Getting Faster...

JC kept singing "Born to be Wild!" :)

Pretty- random -art!

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

Thar she blows!

One of America's top ten "supposedly" most haunted lighthouse.

Me, my Grandad, & JC. My Grandaddy joined the Air Force when he was at the very young age of 17!

Into the wild blue yonder...

I must say, it was not easy capturing these pictures. These guys fly sooo fast and they come from all different directions. I'd be distracted trying to take a picture of a group of blue angels, then out of NO WHERE, one would fly right over my head, missing the perfect opportunity for a close up!

A face? What do you think?

So beautiful...but LOUD!!!

If your not soaring with military pride after you watch this...

I definitely enjoyed myself today! I felt young, healthy, and like a kid again! God is good!

The Challenge: Last Day 7

2010-11-10T14:03:00.000-08:00

I haven't been very consistant following this challenge, but that is because life just has a way of being random and busy!

Again, another belted shirt!:) Today was rather hot for November, and I could have easily worn a short sleave shirt. While trying to take this picture, my knitted shirt kept getting stuck in the bushes.

On the "Feelin' Feminine" website, they have a list of questions for those who participated in this challenge.

How was the experience for you? The experience was very enjoyable. I loved dressing up "almost" everyday;)

Any particular stories? None that I can think of...

Did wearing skirts rather than pants affect the way you felt? Why yes indeed it did! I felt more "put together," for lack of a better word, and feminine.

The way you felt about yourself? It wasn't just the skirts that gave me a bit more confidence, it was being well groomed each day that made me feel better about myself.

The way you acted? I'm not sure it affected my personality, but it just made me feel a little nicer and less worried if I ran into someone in the store looking blah:)

The way you carried yourself? I think I held my posture a bit better, and sat more like a lady. Skirts really have a way of making one feel more reserved, modest, and elegant, but I think it too, is a reflection of one's heart that manifests itself in outward appearances.

Were you able to go about everyday activity as freely in pants? Almost all activities I could do in a skirt, aside from painting, but that is do to the fact that I don't want paint messing up my clothes. Whenever I do a painting for someone, I dress in scroungy old clothes, with my hair in a sloppy bun, and no make up. Its not a pretty site to see!lol

How did people respond? When I first did the challenge, I had people ask if I was going to wear skirts full time, to which I replied, "no," but now, nobody really says anything. I think everyone should be able to wear pants or skirts without anybody making remarks. The diversity in today's style is huge, so I find it humorous when someone makes a remark about skirts.

After the challenge do you desire to keep wearing skirts more regularly, or were you desperate to wear pants again? I desire to do both!

The Challenge: Day 5

2010-11-08T16:59:00.000-08:00

After looking at my outfits, I've realized that most of my shirts have belts on them. I guess I'm just atracted to belts:)

I got the shirt and skirt from TJ Max. The shirt was a really good price, but that was probably because all of the buttons had fallen off, so I just sewed them back on.

The Challenge: Day 2

2010-11-05T11:02:00.000-07:00

For about five years, my clothing style was a complete mess! While sick, it was very hard to put alot of effort into anything fashion related, when I was just trying to survive each day. This is the first time in many years, that I am able to really focus on my wardrobe, and I'm finally very happy with my style!

I accidentally happened upon this easy bun tutorial. I'm not high maintenance, so I like things that can be done quickly and easily!

I think this gives off a very classic look of elegance.

The Challenge: Day 1

2010-11-04T12:27:00.000-07:00

I love wearing skirts because it makes me feel more modest, feminine, and a bit old fashion:)

I bought the skirt I'm wearing for only $3 at a thrift store. My shirt came from Dillards, or was it Sears? I can't remember!lol. My homemade ribbon necklace I'm wearing is inspired by the victorian era:)

Feelin' Feminine Challenge!

2010-11-03T08:55:00.000-07:00

I am excited to be participating in the "Feelin' Feminine Challenge" for the second time! It's starts tomorrow, if anyone would like to join in on the fun. As I've said in previous posts, I do not wear skirts full time, but I still love this challenge!

I appologize that part 2 of "My Road to Recovery" is taking so long to post. I just haven't had the time to edit it, but it will be up soon!

Have a great week everyone, and stayed tuned for the starting of tomorrow's challenge!

Suzie :)

2010-10-26T12:45:00.001-07:00

My Aunt's donkey, Sunshine, had a baby the other day, so we went out to see it.

Her name is Suzie:)

She is so cute and playful!

Just wanted to share a bit of cuteness with you all:)

Continued Road To Recovery: Moving On.....Part 1

2010-10-24T17:50:00.000-07:00

I decided to title this blog post "Moving On," because I want to write about what it's been like for me to move on from a chronic illness. I've tried googling recovery stories from people with POTS or chonic illnesses, but I haven't really found any. I've definitely read Celiac disease recovery stories, but they didn't seem to go into many details. I'm very curious about people's transition period from being sick many years to trying to live life like a normal person again. Since I haven't really stumbled upon stories like that, I find myself writing my own experience...:)

Recently, I went back to the begining of my blog and read through my testimony. I can't believe I wrote that looong of a testimony.LOL! Writing is healing though, and it helped me at the time to just get it out. I had planned on shortening and editing it quite a bit, but I guess I'll leave it for now...

As I read, it felt like I was reading someone else's story. The providential things God did in my life in the past five years, almost seems like a distant dream, and in some ways, I'm glad! What all happened during those years of intense suffering was definitely God ordained and a blessing, but also very heavy, and most of the time, dark. God is light even in our darkest hours, but suffering is still suffering, and it can be very hard!

I don't always like to talk about the suffering part of God's story for my life (unless to inform or help others), only the good that came out of it. When joy begins to fill one's life, you want it to stay for as long as it can. A heavy conversation can bring you back to that dark place. I'd much rather write it out because it helps me heal, and most importantly, I hope this information is helpful to others!

Anyway, as I've said in a previous post, I embarked on my road to recovery almost two years ago, and I never dreamed it would be so hard. I had a REDICULOUS amount of set backs along the way. I've either had reactions to medicine, accidentally eaten gluten, gotten sick, which only makes my POTS symptoms worse, ect. To get better, I tried everything from crazy strict, organic diets, to vitamin detox programs, to yoga, and even looked into acupuncture, but my body (or God) just kept saying no, or not yet! It has literally been one thing after another for two very long years. I've learned that no matter how hard we try or how bad we want something, it will not happen unless God grants it to us by His good will.Prov.16:9. I'm sure some in our society would disagree with me on that one...;)

One of the hardest parts of my suffering has been having the "rug of hope" pulled out from under me constantly. Just when I thought I was moving on from sickness, something would knock me down again. I can hear the anthem to my life singing in my ears right now, "I get knocked down, but I get up again".....!

However, something seems to be changing in my life. The roller coaster ride of sickness and set backs is starting to slow. For almost five years, the dark and heavy weight of sickness hovered over me, but now, my life is begining to change. Even three months ago, my health was definitely not this good! My life has stayed on this continuous road for many years, but all of the sudden, it is changing, and this change is very good! Providential? I don't think, I know so!

Sorrows may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning! Psalm 30:5

I'm able to handle and do things I never thought possible again. I'm still not completely healthy, and not sure I will ever be, but this is as close as I've been to it in a long time. God is not only healing me physically, but emotionally as well. It has been a hard transition moving on from being sick many years to trying to live life as a somewhat "normal" person again, which I will talk more about in Part 2.

I feel that God has really tested my patience throughout this whole process. Waiting is a definite form of suffering! Sometimes, I wonder why God has made me wait so long? If only we could pull back the curtains of heaven and understand it all... However, I know the Lord is much wiser than I, and He is at work in my life. He really knows what He is doing even if we aren't able to understand. His timing is perfect! So many things have happened in my life where I can blatently see His hand.

About a month ago, I started making what I'd like to call, "Ashleigh's Adventure List!":) I feel physically strong enough now to make a list of places I'd like to see and things I'd like to do this year that I have never done or haven't been able to do in a very long time. If I'm actually able to do the things on my list, I will take pictures and post them here if any would like to see. My hope is that it will encourage those living with chronic illnesses, that there is hope for a more active and healthy future!

Hope everyone is having a wonderfuly blessed, God ordained day! Stay tuned for part 2!

Going Gluten, and Casein Free?

2010-10-16T15:04:00.000-07:00

I've been reading alot of celiac disease sites as of recent, and I keep coming across articles on casein intolerances. Casein is a protein found in dairy. Alot of people with gluten intolerances seem to also have problems with casein.

After reading a few articles, I have decided to go on a casein free diet for one month. So now I will be gluten and casein free!

I'm curious to see if I will notice any difference in the way I feel. I REALLY hope I'm not casein intolerant because I LOVE dairy! Also, I wonder if eliminating these dairy products will help with my POTS symptoms? I guess I'll just have to wait and find out...

Going gluten free can help:

- Rheumatoid arthritis

- Multiple sclerosis

- Parkinson’s disease

- Neuromyelitis (inflammation of the nervous system)

- Peripheral neuropathies

- Seizures

- Autism

- Ataxia (loss of balance)

- Late-onset Friedreich ataxia

- Down’s syndrome

- Cognitive problems (brain fog)

- Osteoporosis

- Type 2 and Type 1 diabetes

- Anemia

*Some symptoms of a gluten intolerance:

*Abdominal cramps, gas and bloating

*Anemia

*ADD

*Anxiety

*Brain Fog

*Borborygmi (stomach rumbling)

*Coetaneous bleeding

*Diarrhea

*Easy bruising

*Epitasis (nose bleeding)

*Failure to thrive

*Fatigue or general weakness

*Fibromyalgia

*Flatulence

*Fluid retention

*Gastrointestinal symptoms

*Gastrointestinal hemorrhage

*Headaches

*Hematuria

*Hypocalcaemia/ hypomagnesaemia

*Hypoglycemia

*Infertility

*Iron deficiency anemia

*lymphocytic gastritis

*Migranes

*Mouth Ulcers

*Muscle weakness

*Muscle wasting

*Nausea

*No obvious physical symptoms (just fatigue, overall not feeling well)

*Osteoporosis

*Pallor (unhealthy pale appearance)

*Panic Attacks

*Peripheral neuropathy (nerve damage)

*Stunted growth in children

*Vertigo

*Vitamin B12 deficiency

*Vitamin D deficiency

*Vitamin K deficiency

*Vomiting

*Voracious appetite

*Weight loss

*Obesity

*OCD

I wish I would have found this Dr. twelve years ago!! I'm definitely like the girl he describes, with a rediculous amount of blood tests, seen many, many doctors, and had a basket full of supplements in my cabinet that I was allergic to!!

Randomly, throughout this month, I hope to post a list of gluten and casein free foods I will be consuming!

Amazing Grace Indeed!

2010-10-14T16:56:00.000-07:00

This little girl is awesome!! She lost her mother to cancer at a very young age. This gave me gusebumps. What an amazing gift God has given her!!

I used to see the song "Amazing Grace" as just something traditional we sing in church. After getting saved and going through suffering, my ears have really been opened to the words in this song. My favorite part is line three, but I don't think she sings it here. Right now, I'm in the process of learning this on the piano. It's a slow process with a lot of flats:)

Recently I read somewhere that there are people who have changed some of the words to "Amazing Grace." They sing, "that saved and strengthened me," instead of "that saved a wretch like me!" If we were not wretched sinners, then it would not be amazing grace!

Getting "Glutened!"

2010-10-11T19:39:00.001-07:00

We finally got our internet fixed, so hopefully I can post more often now!:)

Anyway, I used to think it would be fun to run through a wheat field, but now I'm not so sure...lol

People with Celiac disease have to be very careful to avoid gluten. So what is gluten? Gluten is a type of protein found in most grains, cereals, and breads. I once got "glutened" at Applebee's. You'd think steamed veggies and salmon wouldn't have flour/gluten in it, but I was wrong. The glaze on top of the salmon was full of gluten. I should have known, but back then, I was still learning how to eat gluten free.

The next morning I woke up and felt like I had been hit by a car. All of my symptoms that had started to go away, came upon me with a vengence. For the next two very long weeks I felt horrible, but it was good learning experience for me.

Ever since then, I make sure I eat at resturaunts that have gluten free menus or a chef that is knowlegable in this area. Fifteen minutes of enjoyable, taste bud bliss is not worth two or more weeks of being bed ridden.

By far, my favorite resturaunt to eat at is Outback Steakhouse! I love to get there baby back ribs, mashed potatos, and Thunder from Down Under, which is the best gluten free brownie dessert in the entire world!! :)

Bone Fish Grill, and Carrabas are great places to eat too! They do not have their own gluten free menu, but they understand gluten intolerences and know how to cater to your allergy needs.

I hear that Mellow Mushroom has gluten free pizza, and there is one near my home, so I plan on trying it soon.

Panera "Bread" (Don't let the name scare you away:) has a few delicious, gluten free salads. If I ever get tired of eating a salad, I just ask for their black bean soup instead. It's great to eat during the cold winter months.

Whenever I'm in a hurry, Wendy's chili, plain baked potato, and chocolate frosty are an easy way to eat. I try to avoid fast or processed foods, but sometimes (like when traveling) it can be a neccessity.

In some ways, I'm still learning how to eat out, gluten free. It's getting much easier with time, and I'm thankful more resturaunts are catching on to the gluten free band wagon. Hopefully in the near future, most, if not all resturaunts will have a gluten free and allergy friendly menu. I believe they'd get more customers that way!;)

Anyway, I hope this was helpful to anyone with a gluten intolerance. If you have any tips, tricks, or ideas, please pass them on. I'd love to learn more!

Soon, I hope to post more on my gluten free diet and what I eat during a typical day/week.

Hope everyone is having a great day! <3

Another Book Recommendation!

2010-10-04T15:24:00.000-07:00

I meant to post this a week ago, but ever since our computer got hit by lightening, we've been having crazy internet problems...

This year I read something that was more than a book to me, it was a blessing!

"Family Driven Faith" written by Dr. Voddie Baucham is a must read. Every person, church, and family needs to get a hold of this book!

For a revival to sweep across our nation, we need to get back to basic biblical principles. We need more understanding in how to apply scripture to our daily lives.

In this day and age, what does it truly mean to be a Christian? How should we live our lives for Christ? As a Christian, how should our homes and families function?

This is such a culture changing book and you will not regret reading it!

One Project Done and Many More To Go....

2010-09-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I finally finished converting all of our home videos to DVD! In the beginning it seemed like a very daunting task. A year ago, I could have never done this project in a timely fashion. It would have taken me a very, very long time! I didn't know where to begin so I started researching "how to's" online. Ordering a DVD converter online seemed like a good idea, but all of the different options overwhelmed me, so I went to Best Buy instead. One employee helped me to find the right converter, but when I got home and opened the box, I found that he accidentally grabbed a VCR instead. So I took it back and finally got the right one!

It's really simple, but a slow process to convert home videos to DVD. Here's how it's done:

1) Rewind home video first.

2) Put VHS and DVD into the converter at the same time.

3) Press the red button and your ready to go!

It's a slow process because it has to play through the whole tape in regular time. There is no speed up button unfortunately, but I didn't really care. I was just so happy to get this project done and out of the way. Just look at the organizational differences!

For about a month our living room looked really junky from this project. My mother wasn't too happy about that, but then I reminded her that it's a small price to pay for the priceless preservation of family history, and it's organizational benefits far out weigh the one month of disorganization.

Hope this post was helpful to anyone who wants to protect family memories from those old detiorating VHS tapes!

You Are Not Alone!

2010-09-19T13:55:00.000-07:00

The challenge for Invisible Illness Week was to write a simple, yet encouraging note and stick it in a public place for someone to find. I put mine in the bathroom at Panera's:) Tons of people eat there and they have great gluten free salads! So,I completely forgot my camera, but thankfully had taken this picture beforehand:

Invisible Chronic Illness Week!: 30 Questions...

2010-09-16T08:37:00.000-07:00

Here are 30 things you may not know about my illness:

1. The illness I live with is: Pots and Celiac Disease.

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: not early enough, but 2009-2010

3. But I had symptoms since: I was 8

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Not overdoing it, and learning to live life in a different way.

5. Most people assume: That I'm completely healthy.

6. The hardest part about mornings are: Getting out of bed, but that is getting much easier with time.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: I don't like anything medical related. I have severe white coat syndrome!

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: not a gadget, but water.

9. The hardest part about nights are: Falling asleep because my heart pounds so hard.

10. Each day I take _1_ pills & vitamins. Salt or salt tablets and medicine to help me sleep.

11. Regarding alternative treatments : Tried many different things...

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: That is a very hard question...

13. Regarding working and career: Art and taking care of my family, wich is something I never thought would be possible.

14. People would be surprised to know: My illness has been the biggest blessing of my entire life!

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: Not being able to be spontaneous and care free.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: My body beginning to heal!!

17. The commercials about my illness: There are none...

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Being adventurous!

19. It was really hard to have to give up: A normal life, and eating bread:)

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Art.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Climb a mountain, litterally!

22. My illness has taught me: How life should really be lived.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "Well, you look perfectly fine to me!"

24. But I love it when people say: "Look how far you have come!!"

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning." Lamentaions 3:22. "The strongest metal is that which has gone through the hottest fire!"

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: God is with you every step of the way. You will make through! Some how, some way, you'll be ok.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: The amazing people I've met along the way.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: Completely take care of me. Thanks mom!!

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I want to! There needs to be more awareness about invisible illnesses!

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: Like you care!

http://invisibleillnessweek.com/

National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week!

2010-09-14T18:54:00.000-07:00

It brings me great joy to know there are people out there who are trying to spread more awareness about invisible illnesses!

I haven't blogged much about what all I've gone through concerning my health and all of the years I spent a lot of time in bed. I could try and explain, but unless one has physically suffered on a daily basis for many years, they truly cannot relate, only sympathize.

When I was at my worst and doctors could not figure out what was wrong with me, I longed to talk with someone who understood what I was going through. On the outside, I could look perfectly healthy, but inwardly, a war raged to the extreme. Even on a very bad day, people closest to me couldn't see my pain, or past my fake smile.

In a previous post, I talked about healing taking place in my body. However, I still suffer on a daily basis in certain ways. I can function more like a normal person, but all with great struggle. As time goes by, my struggle becomes less and less, and I give all the glory to God for that!

Some days I feel like Humpty Dumpty...

I once was very broken, but now I'm slowly being put back together, piece by piece. I don't know if I'll ever be perfectly put back together because, as we all know, broken things never seem to mend as well as when they were first made. But I'm choosing to trust God with the results!

I have one illness fully undercontrol (unless I accidentally eat gluten), and that is Celiac Disease. It will never go away, but I now know how to manage it. One seemingly rare and VERY invisible illness still lingers and that is POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). It is a form of Dysautonomia.

So I wonder, will this ever go away? Only God and time can tell. It seems that alot of people suffering with Dysautonomia are extremely bad off or bed ridden. I was once there and it is a very hard place to be. I had to (and still somewhat do to an extent) work very hard to get where I am now. The fact that I have come this far is no doubt a miracle in my mind, but sadly, very few people seem to understand that, unless they have been very sick themselves. Even my friends do not realize how monumental it is because whenever I was around them, I constantly smiled to hide my severe daily pains, and on the outside I didn't look sick at all! One could not see my fibromyalgia, migranes, flu aches, chronic fatigue syndrome, low blood pressure, high heart rate, hypoglycemia, nausea, insomnia, dizziness, general feeling of just plain ill, ect...These types of illnesses are truly invisible!

If you are suffering from an invisible illness, you are not alone. Many, many, many people really do uderstand your pain!

This week is National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week. The lady on this video talks about a neat challenge I am going to try this week! Can't wati!:)

The Realities of Being a Stay at Home Daughter

2010-09-09T08:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder how others view stay at home daughters. I can imagine someone thinking all we do is stay at home, sew, bake, cook, clean, and try our best to imulate June Cleaver or a Stepford wife. I'm here to say that I know this is not the case for any stay at home daughter including myself. I do not view this season in my life as a time to work very hard for the reward of Mr. Right taking me away from spinsterhood and riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after, THE END!

If I'm being quite honest, marriage can be a scary thought, because I know all too well the reality and hardships of this life. Marriage will not make life easier, only harder and the responsibilities will increase.

I feel that being a daughter at home has given me a Ph.d in the realities of life and taking care of a family. I have many responsiblities during my day that take up alot of time. My days are pretty full (When I'm feeling well)! Since I have two working parents, I'm incharge of keeping the house running, literally. I'm incharge of doing everyone's Mt. Everest of laundry each day. I cook gluten free, healthy meals 3-4 nights a week, and I'm in charge of making out the dinner menu and grocery list for each week as well. I try to have the home neat so that when my parents come home from a long day of work, they will not walk into chaos. I take care of my currently disabled sister and take her to her college classes each week. I do commision art work for people on the side to make money. I do all of this with a chronic illness that I work very hard each day to recover from. I do all of this in the midst of a home where Christ is not the focus. I do all of this in sometimes very hard circumstances.However, I do all of this joyfully!

Joyfully because I am so thankful that healing is actually taking place in my body! I'm thankful God is healing me so I can take care of a family that selflessly took care of me for many, many years! Just to be able to stand up and do a simple task like vaccuuming without it being a great struggle, is a miracle in my opinion! I literally will walk around my house while working, singing "Praise God From Whom ALL Blessings Flow" because He has given me the ability to work and there is actually real hope for a more healthy and active future!

Not all girls have been given the opportunity to prepare for marriage. Some can't stay home while others do not want to stay home. Some do not have the physical ability to take care of a home while others do. We all come from very different lives and circumstances, and no two families are the same. If you desire someday to be a wife and mother, whether you can prepare for that or not right now, you desire something great, blessed, joyful, and hard! If you desire this great role, do not take it lightly nor waste your God given ability to work, prepare, and practice serving others.

Each day brings enough opportunity to prepare, whether it's giving someone a helping hand, memorizing a Bible verse, learning a helpful skill, picking up after someone who has had a hard day, or imparting encouraging grace to a hearer, Eph4:29. Doing simple things like these and more, is instilling in you great character qualities.

Being a daughter at home is not about being June Cleaver. It is about being a Christian and practicing servanthood and selflessness, which in turn will affect every single thing you do in this life, whether you become a wife and mother or not.

Another Official Diagnosis: POTS!

2010-09-01T16:35:00.000-07:00

I appologize for my absence, but our computer got hit by lightning about a month ago and has just now been fixed. Oh, how I've missed blogging...

So, I recently saw another cardiologist, who actually took me serious this time. She officially diagnosed me, the day before my twenty first birthday, with POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). Like with the Celiac Disease, I had pre-diagnosed myself with this as well...I feel as if I always have to be my own doctor:)

Relief and sadness filled the air when she told me my diagnosis. So many times, doctors have blown off my heart rate as just anxiety. I had two EKGs done at this past cardio appointment. The first I had done while lying down and it was normal. Then she made me stand up and my my heart rate immediately jumped up to 147 bpm!!

My daily high heart rate is the reason I can't fully function like a normal person...yet! This doctor has great hope that with increase in water, salt intake, along with exercise and time, my autonomic nervous system will regulate itself. Recently, with Florida's hot summers, I have been having major trouble with dehydration, so I started chugging the gatorade. I ended up having a reaction to the yellow 5 in gatorade so now, water is my new best friend! My bad reaction to gatorade is almost laughable considering my extreme sensitivities to medicines and food, but thankfully I know now to stay away from it. I will be drinking organic coconut water instead of Gatorade for electrolytes.

I asked this doctor if it would be okay for me to try a Beta-blocker, because I've heard that they can slow your heart rate down. She said, "NO WAY!" She said my blood pressure is very low and if I were to take a Beta-blocker, I would start passing out. She also explained to me how POTS patients are usually sensitive to medicine and it would most likely make my symptoms worse. I'm actually very relieved she said no because I absolutely cannot tolerate medicine. I just asked out of curiosity.

Some days I can feel down because I'm still struggling with health issues, but I believe with all of my heart that, "All things work together for good!" Romans 8:28
I know that my road to recovery will not be easy and every day I fight an uphill battle, but I believe, Lord willing, one day I will be almost completely healthy. Even if I never fully recover on this earth, it is just going to make Heaven that more amazing!

"Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season, we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Galations 6:9

I have many goals for my future, but they are unachieveable right now. One of my goals is to run, not walk, a 5K. It's a big goal but I'm working very hard to achieve it. I may not be able to achieve it this year, but one day, Lord willing, I will. Right now, I have to be careful and avoid dehydrated at all costs while exercising, so this goal of mine is very tricky.

Here are the things I need to recover...

ALOT of Water!!

Organic Coconut water

Exercise

My ipod full of inspirational music: "Dare You to Move" by Switchfoot, "You Gotta Lift" by Shannon Noll, "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller, ect...:)

Sea Salt and Salt tablets (Increase in salt has raised my blood pressure and is starting to slowly lower my heart rate)

Scripture to meditate on and memorize

Juicing carrots, celery, and apples together

Prayer, becasue there is power in it!

Goal: Run a 5k one day!

Anyway, I just wanted to write this post to give a quick update and ask for prayer on my continued road to recovery. I've got my work cut out for me!

May everyone have a healthy and blessed day!

Skirts Are Frumpy??

2010-07-04T14:20:00.000-07:00

I'm no fashionista or anything, but I know when things look frumpy. Frumpy is subjective and can be defined in many different ways. I define frumpy as dull and blah, something that is not put together well or makes you look like your wearing a potato sack:)

When God first convicted me of feminine modesty, I kind of went a little crazy, buying any modest skirt I saw. I'll be honest, I struggled a lot with confusion mixed with a bit of legalism. I thought if God was convicting my heart to wear more skirts, then I must wear ONLY skirts. Now I realize God was using that time in my life to teach me about biblical feminity. Something that was foreign to me at the time. He also taught me to embrace being a woman of God, and that it's okay to wear skirts aside from Sundays only. God was teaching me to not be dull and frumpy, which I had become before He convicted my heart on the matters of biblical femininity.

After that confusing stage of learning, I ended up giving away alot of skirts I had originally bought. Now I'm going to take my time on this matter and only buy skirts that are classy, not attention grabbing(in a good or bad way), my style, and not frumpy.

Through God's teaching I learned I can be a lady in skirts and in jeans as well. I believe modesty is a personal heart issue between an individual and God. There is no blueprint in the Bible that says exactly how we should dress. It does stress to dress feminine and modestly, 1 Timothy 2:9, but what does that look like? Does that mean only skirts? Does that mean skirts to my knees or ankles? Can I just wear jeans and burn my skirts? lol. To me, it means whatever God calls you to. Right now, He has called me to both, and I am very content and happy with that!

When I wear jeans I make sure they are not tight but not too baggy either. As Goldilock's would say, "they're just right!" When I wear jeans, I like to wear longer shirts as well. When I wear skirts I make sure I wear them in appropriate settings and in ways that will not embarrass my family or draw attention to myself.

I'll be honest, I still struggle with being feminine. I'm still not a huge fan of pearls and pink but will wear them occasionally. I don't really like floral prints. I tend to go for darker or earthy tones when buying clothes. I'm very laid back, so it's easy to just stick on a pair of pants or basketball shorts, a t-shirt, and flip flops, than trying to put a lovely, feminine outfit together. I thought shopping for cute and modest clothes was hard, then I added modest skirts to my list, which amped up my shopping stress level greatly. It's really like trying to find a needle in a hay stack!

We live in a culture full of alot of immodest and sensual things. As Christians, we should always strive for modesty even though it's hard, because God's word commands it, and it goes against this crooked and perverse culture. I believe for radical change in this culture, we definitely need radical actions, which is why I think wearing more modest skirts is great, but we have to be careful about legalism. Not every person wearing a pair of jeans or basketball shorts is a pagan;) And in NO way does wearing skirts instead of pants make your more "holy!" I just like the idea behind it.

Anyway, the next paragraph I could probably use for another post, but I just had to say it...

Whether anyone agrees with me or not on this matter, I don't think skirts are practical for everything. Take skydiving for instance...:) Or going to an amusement park. When I was little girl, my family and I went to the county fair after church. I had on one of those poofy, floral print, early 90's dresses. Yikes! I probably had a big bow in my hair too!:) I remember being on this really fast ride that spins you around and around. I was NOT having fun because I was trying to keep my dress from flying up the whole time! That memory makes me laugh so hard!:)

Even though I choose not to wear skirts full time, I still wear them often. It is an outer manifestation of how the Lord has drastically changed my heart over the years, and I am eternally grateful for that!

If anyone out there is struggling with the whole skirts vs. pants issue I completely understand what you are going through! All I know to say is keep your eyes on the Lord and He WILL steer you in the right direction on this straight and narrow path! Also, if your heart feels conflicted about wearing skirts full time or not, God may be trying to tell you something. Maybe, just not yet...

What are you doing about this issue or what are your thoughts on the subject? Would love to hear any wisdom out there!

Here are some outfits with skirts I found online that I think are so cute and flattering:

Very classy! Love the colors together. It is still modest without taking away from your shape. (shirt is a bit tight for my liking).

I want this dress!

Cute skirt and shoes.

Love, love, love this color! But I don't think I could pull this dress off, unless I was on a sail boat;)

The belt makes this skirt!

Here are some shirts I like with a pair of jeans:

I want this shirt!

Love the belt with this shirt.

Now all I need is some money to go shopping with.....:)

Continued Road to Recovery...

2010-07-04T11:47:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I've posted, but summer has been busy...

I saw an infectious disease doctor a few weeks back. I left a bit confused. To make a long story short, I do not have EBV active in my system right now, praise God! My blood test was just showing high levels of antibodies.

However, the ID doctor did say that I definitely have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. There are many symptoms to CFS besides tiredness, and the tired feeling is really indescribable! The symptoms of CFS can mimic that of Mono and vary in severity. Some people cannot even get out of bed. Others live almost completely normal, but have to rest a bit more than the average person.

Before going gluten free, I was more on the pretty bad end of CFS. Just doing simple tasks, like loading a dishwasher, was painstakingly hard! I remember trying to exercise some, but it only made my symptoms worse. Now that I am gluten free, I can actually exercise again and feel good while doing so. The way I like to describe my CFS issues, is I feel like I've had the flu for many years, and I'm still recovering. Even though I can't do as much in a day as a normal healthy person, I'm having more better days than not, and I couldn't say that a year ago.

The best advice I could ever give anyone going through sickness or living with a chronic illness, is just take one day at a time, appreciate the small things, and definitely celebrate with any improvement, no matter how small.

If a person saw me right now, they would think I am a perfectly healthy 20 year old. I think that is the most frustrating part. These illnesses like CFS, Celiac Disease, or POTS are invisible and there is little awareness about each. Even when I was at my worst (before going gluten free), no one could tell, except for the people who lived with me.

So the ID doctor went on to say the reason for my heat intolerance, extreme sensitivity to medicine, and high heart rate, is possibly due to damage of my autonomic nervous system, which is something along the line of POTS, but I haven't been officially diagnosed yet. I hope to find out more next month, but things dealing with the autonomic nervous system, seem to be hard to diagnose, or so I've heard...

Now I have to go back to a cardiologist and get a specific test done that I didn't get the first time around. If, infact, I do have something along the lines of POTS, there is no cure. Only time, lots of water, salt, gatorade, and exercise can help.

There are times when a nagging illness can leave a person so hopeless and distraught that they just want to give up. I've been there, when I was bed ridden, and it's a hard place to be. But now, I can sort of see the finish line, and I refuse to give up! The human body is an amazing thing, and God has designed it to heal.

So now comes time for the plan of action! Here is what I plan on doing...

*Chronic fatigue can be a vicious cycle. When a person feels sick, they obviously want to go and lie down, but I'm refusing to rest alot unless I'm having a really, really bad day, and that's not often. If you continue to rest, your body can get in the habit of having to rest. I want to get my body out of the habit. If your dealing with CFS and reading this, don't necessarily take my advice. No two CFS patients are the same and they greatly differ in severity. Listen to your doctor and your body.

*If I do have damage to my autonomic nervous system, I'm going to really increase my water in take (which everyone should probably do), drink Gatorade for electrolytes, and increase my salt intake. Sea salt that is, not processed, fine salt:)

*Stick to an exercise program. I'm going to start walking on the treadmill for 20 minutes each day, unless I'm having a really busy day and have to use all of my energy for that. When I get off the treadmill, I'm going to lift weights, do squats to strengthen my legs, and sit-ups to strengthen my upper body. I'm also going to swim more, and start riding my bike more when I have time.

*I learned really healthy eating habits last year, so I'm going to start cooking healthier again, just without all of the restrictions my diet had last year.

*I think I might start juicing again as well.

I believe, for me, the key to full or almost full recovery is CONSISTENCY! Before going g/f, I wasn't able to be consistent with anything I did in life. This will be a first for me.

I'm not sure if I'll ever fully recover. It may take years, but who knows!
I really want to be that success story! I want to encourage others suffering with a chronic illness. I know that I am not at the mercy of any illness or doctor. My hope is in Christ, the Great Physician!

I'll be posting random updates with how my "Road to Recovery" is going!

Hope everyone has a blessed week. Soli deo gloria!!

So Sweet and Inspiring!

2010-06-11T20:17:00.000-07:00

I've never been one to get all emotional about things pertaining to love, but this made me tear up. It is too precious for words! I just had to share! The letter part is my fav.

A Long Journey!

2010-06-10T19:13:00.000-07:00

My sister flew out to Atlanta to visit her boyfriend this past January for his 25th Birthday. On the way to his house, a deer ran out in front of her boyfriend Kurt's car. He swerved and hit a tree, and somewhere in between that, my sister flew out of the passenger side window! After the car stopped, Kurt looked to his right to check on my sister, but she wasn't there. He immediately got out and ran around the car searching for her. That's when he saw her lying in the middle of the rode with a car heading straight at her. He sprinted toward the rode and managed to stop the car in time. If he had been knocked out, the car might not have seen my sister!

My sister Caitlin after she was moved out of Trauma ICU to a regular hospital room.

Kurt and my dad trying to sleep in the ICU waiting room. I can't imagine there being a sadder place than an ICU waiting room!

Mom, dad, and Cait.

After 3 days in ICU, my sister had her first surgery. They flew in a specialist who performed a 10 hour surgery, piecing my sister's hip slowly back together.

Yikes! It looks like someone spilled their tool box inside her! Modern medicine amazes me!

Cailtin, after her jaw surgery trying to eat. Her mouth was wired shut.

The beginning of physical therapy.

It started to snow while we were there. Snow is a big deal for us Floridians, but during that time, the cold and dreary weather only made things worse! Plus, the heater in our car broke, so every morning, the ride from our hotel to the hospital was not fun.

Going home day!
e

One long ambulance ride!

Welcome home! So glad to be back in the comfort of our home and all together again!!

Sabastian never leaves her side!

Sabastian LOVES to ride in the wheelchair with her! Everytime she gets in it, he barks and whines like crazy because he is scared she is going to leave without him.

First, a physical therapist had to come to our house for a few months. Now she goes to a local hospital 3 times a week. Here she is at her new therapy.

It has been a very long 5 months for her! During the first few months, she had SEVERE nerve pain. Her biggest struggle by far has been weaning off of all the pain medication. She has had very, very bad withdrawals. She is doing really well now in her physical therapy and is almost off all of the pain medicines. One big problem still remains though. She has this problem with her ankle called foot drop. She cannot move her ankle up and down which is important for her to walk properly again. If it doesn't get better in a few months, she could have to wear a brace on her leg the rest of her life.

Even though all of this has been very tough, God has shown so much mercy!! Her face could have been crushed instead of her pelvic bone. She could be paralized right now! There was a girl in physical therapy who is paralized. She got in a car crash on her 20th birthday! Even though things seemed bad with my sister, they can ALWAYS be worse!

Whenever one hears about a certain trial that a person goes through they often think, "WOW! I could never handle that!" But God is merciful and He ALWAYS gives grace for the moment! In God's Word it says that "He is a very present help in times of trouble." I find that to be so true! I felt such a close connection to Him while sitting in the ICU waiting room. Suffering mysteriously has it's way of bringing us closer to God. Suffering has a way of really putting life into perspective. When we go about our normal eveyday lives, eternal things are not always at the center of our mind. Suffering is like God's mega phone to get His children's attention! Or it can be to refine us and make us more like Christ. Suffering also comes from the result of the fallen world we live in. Whenever you go through a trial in your life, don't look at it as a bad thing. Our great God is in the business of making bad situations or broken people into something extraordinarily beautiful. It makes me think about God's symbolism through His creation, like butterflies...

"If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new! 2 Cor 5:17

My sister had planned on becoming a personal trainer and was in intense training to become a Tampa Bay Buccaneer Cheerleader, but God stopped her in her tracks. She is an extremely active person, but has spent the last five months in a hospital bed. The situation looks bad, but I know the Lord is at work in her life, and I can't wait to see how He turns this ugly situation into something beautiful! He is the ultimate director of all our paths in this life.

Just when we think we have our lives figured out or perfectly planned, things can change in an instance!!

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." Prov 16:9

"For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working in us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory!" 2 Cor 4:17

I'm so thankful that He has given me more time on the earth with my one and only dear sister!

This past year I went through my mom's huge box full of family pictures and found these!:)

I love, love, love to scrapbook!

These memories need to be preserved instead of sitting in an old box collecting dust.

I'm thankful for this time I have to preserve family history.

But I'm more thankful for the time I have with my sister!<3

Love you sis!

The Never Ending Road To Recovery...

2010-06-04T12:14:00.000-07:00

When I found out about the gluten intolerance last year, hope flooded into my life. I assumed that going gluten free was the magic cure all pill that I had been praying for. My optimism was soaring so high, I truly thought within a few months, I would be perfectly normal. ha!

It has taken a good year to recover, and I'm still not 100% just yet. In previous posts, I mentioned how well I'm doing, and how much energy I have, ect... But that was me comparing my current health, to the very sickly, bed bound girl I was over a year ago. If I compare myself physically to the average person, I fail in comparison. I now realize that I have a ways to go.

Lately, I've been reading Celiac Disease forums. A lot of people are still struggling to get better and others found their magic cure all pill in going gluten free in a very short amount of time. Celiac disease is different than a gluten intolerance. Celiac disease can cause numerous other health problems. With all of my recent research, I decided a few weeks ago to officially get tested for Celiac Disease as well as other possible things that could be hindering my health from improving.

Today, I got my results back and it was positive for Celiac Disease! Hearing the news oddly relieved me and I'll tell you why: Spending 12 years searching for answers, 12 years of going to many doctors who either didn't believe me or labeled me as something else! 12 years of hopelessness, and 12 years of thinking I was honestly crazy! To hear an official diagnosis made me cry out of sheer relief!! I'm NOT crazy!!! lol! Praise God!!

Also, my vitamin D levels are low (21), and I found out that the EBV (Mono) is active in my system right now. My doctor is sending me to a specialist. I'm curious to see how he can help me. The only issues I'm still struggling with now, are low energy (which seems high for me because I'm not bed bound), adrenaline rushes for no reason, shortness of breath, and a very high heart rate when I stand, 120-130bpm. I also have a very bad heat intolerance. After 10 minutes of being out in the sun mid day (It's HOT here in Florida now), my heart shoots up to 155bpm, my ears stop up, and I almost pass out.

With all of the research I've done over the past few years, I keep coming across this rare syndrome called POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). POTS is a type of Dysautonomia. Some POTS patience have trouble standing up. When they do, their heart rate goes high, blood pressure drops, and then they pass out! But some just have low energy, high heart rate, shortness of breath, and don't pass out. Sometimes when I do things like stand to sing at church, I get very lightheaded, sometimes nauseous, my breathing worsens, and I feel faint. POTS patience have trouble singing and standing. It takes POTS patience 3x's more energy to stand than the average person! I told my dad (who is a skeptic about many things) and when he researched for himself on POTS, he came to me and said this is the best discovery you have made yet! He said, "It sounds so much like you!" Most POTS patience have the same history of spending years sick, years of going to doctors, and years without any answers! The thing that sparked my interest in the whole POTS theory is that MONO can cause it!! AND there is a connection between Celiac disease and POTS!! It's like a vicious triangle! POTS also worsens when people lay down for a long period of time. A few years prior to my gluten discovery, I spent most of my time lying in bed or on a heating pad. POTS patience also look completely normal on the outside, but inwardly, they greatly struggle to live a normal everyday life!

POTS is rare and very hard to diagnose. There is little awareness about it. POTS may be the reason that Celiac patients are still suffering. But then again, I'm not a doctor. Although, in this day and age, you just about have to be your own doctor! Thank God for Google!LOL!

There is no magic pill for POTS. It's all about time. It takes a lot of time for the disregulation of the autonomic nervous system to get back on track! Some people never recover, some worsen over time, and within a few years or less, some can be perfectly normal!

Whether my POTS theory is true or not, I wanted to write about it so more people can be aware of it! I feel especially sorry for the people with Dysautonomia! It must be incredibly hard to live normal when every time you stand, you pass out!! So, if I do have POTS (who knows?), I am taking the proper steps I need to in recovering: Exercising even when I want to lay down, increase of water and salt intake, healthy eating, ect...

So, I have my appointment with the specialist next week. I'll let you know how it goes;)

This is a video of a girl I found on You tube about a year ago. I can definitely relate to her story. Her videos have really been an encouragement to me! This was pretty much my life before going gluten free.

Part 1

Part 2

Sanctification Through Suffering!

2010-06-03T08:56:00.000-07:00

Took this pic the other day while lying in the backyard. God's creation is beautiful!

Christ may delay coming to us during our times of distress, but it is simply so our faith may be tested and strengthened. His purpose is also that our prayers will be more powerful, our desire for deliverance will be greater, and when deliverance finally comes we will appreciate it more fully!

A Picture To Brighten Your Day!:)

2010-05-20T07:10:00.001-07:00

Sabastain! I thought this pic was just too cute to not share with you all!

He didn't budge one bit while I did this photo shoot with him. I think he actually likes getting his picture taken! He is a very spoiled and prissy dog. That is why we call him Sassy.

Last Day..7!!

2010-05-10T13:53:00.000-07:00

Is it really the last day of the feelin' feminine challenge?! I had alot of fun participating in it! I realize that it is alot easier to just stick on a pair of jeans and t-shirt each day than to always dress in a feminine, modest, and fashionable way.

But, I think it's worth the effort!:)

Day 6.....Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-09T08:55:00.000-07:00

My mother is someone I greatly admire. She is a woman who strives for godliness each and every day. Someone who always encourages me in my walk with the Lord. Her joyful smile is contagious and kind heart always thoughtful of others. She is a mother who never gave up hope when searching for a cure for her child when others did. She is someone who has persevered through the greatest of trials, while always giving all the glory to God! She is a prayer warrior. She reminds my daily that our hope is always in the Lord! I am so very proud to call her my mom! I thank God everyday for such a wonderful and caring mother! Truly, there are absolutely no words to describe what my mother means to me!

Happy Mother's Day to a woman who is far, far above rubies!!!

Sorry, I completely forgot to takes pics of day 5 outfit. Yesterday was very busy!
Shirt is from Dillards. Skirt is from a local consignment shop! It's Liz Claiborne and I got it for $3!! You just can't beat that!

Day 4

2010-05-07T12:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I dressed casual, so today I decided to have fun by dressing up!

I bought the dress and shoes from Beals.

I'm pretending like my umbrella is my parasol lol;) Oh, how I wish ladies still dressed in beautiful long gowns with parasols. It would probably get extremely hot though, but it would be so lovely to see! Now I'm really wanting a real parasol! Maybe ebay has some!:)

Day 2

2010-05-05T10:01:00.001-07:00

This is one of my favorite outfits! I got the skirt and belt at Kohl's.

My hair is just pulled back in a sloppy bun. I can't for the life of me remember where I bought the shoes or shirt. The shirt I'm wearing looks blue in these pics, but it is actually turquoise!

Day 1

2010-05-04T09:25:00.001-07:00

I'm already having fun with this challenge and it's only day 1!

Skirt- Old Navy

Flipflops- can't remember

Shirt- Walmart

Dressing in a feminine modest way- Priceless:)